I Read What?!

So last time, we saw some aftermath of Gallen's fight and met Gallen's priest cousin. We also had a few things happen that definitely won't fuck Gallen over later, I'm sure.



Last chapter gave us the aftermath of Gallen's fight, so this one brings us back to the town of Clere so we can see the aftermath of Orick's fight. This, happily, means that we start the chapter with Orick the bear. Maggie, the hot-and-cold-running barmaid, is also here. I'm less enthused about that, but there's always a chance that she can make up for her bad first impression on me.

So it's clean up time. The towns folk drag the dead monster from the inn and dump it in the bay. This is apparently on the command of Father Heany, who states that "no creature damned to be so ugly should be buried on hallowed ground", which seems awfully judgy, dude.

Both Maggie and Orick are pretty sure that there will be more monsters. Orick and the dogs can smell them. Apparently the townsfolk are frantic, Maggie, in true hot-and-cold love interest fashion, is busy looking north to An Cochan, hoping to see Gallen, as he's overdue.

Now I'm already pre-disposed to look askance at Maggie, so I might not be being fair, but I find this a little off-putting:

"I'm going to An Cochan," Maggie said at last to Orick, her voice quavering. "If Gallen doesn't know what's afoot, he'd better be warned." She glanced up the road again. There was a tightness in her stomach, a certain knowledge that Gallen had already found trouble. He would never willingly keep a client waiting, and Maggie suspected that his body lay somewhere on the road to An Cochan. If she was lucky, he might still be alive.

The desire to warn him makes sense. That's something Maggie is capable of doing. But if he's dead or injured, what exactly does she think she can do? She's not a fighter. She's not very big. But I might not be being fair. She might just be an emotional teenaged girl.

Orick, wiser, comments that Maggie has just as much chance of running into a monster as Gallen, and points out that Gallen is much better equipped to deal with one. Which is true, and fair, but I don't know. He tells her to "sit tight".

I think maybe it's just that, so far, we've got two young, emotional female characters whose primarily role, so far, seems to be having older and wiser men (Orick is younger chronologically, but also a bear) rein them in. I find it off-putting.

But hey, something's happening!

Cries of dismay rose from the south end of town. Crowds of people began shouting. Maggie and Orick rushed to the crossroads, looked down the lane: between the shading pine trees, up the cobbled streets lined with picket fences, an ungodly array of giants marched three abreast. Some of them, green-skinned ogres, looked like huge men, eight feet tall. At their head was one of the monsters Orick had slain last night, its too-human head down low, sniffing the ground, blinking at the townspeople with orange eyes.

There were thirty or more of the monsters, and in their center, well protected, walked a creature straight from the bowels of hell. It stood seven feet tall and had a chitinous black carapace. It walked on four extraordinarily long legs, and it held two huge arms before it. One club like arm seemed to end only in a vicious claw, while the other revealed a small, spidery hand that held a black rod.

The beast's head was enormous, with three clusters of multifaceted eyes in various sizes—two sets of eyes in front, one in back. A long, whiplike whisker was attached to each side of its lower jaw, beneath teeth that looked like something that might have belonged to a skinned horse. Its main body was only about a foot wide across the front, but its ribs would have measured three feet in height. From its shoulders sprouted two enormous pairs of translucent wings, the color of urine. Its bloated abdomen, which was carried between its front and back pair of legs, nearly dragged the ground.

A three paragraph description! That's a big fucking deal!

Rather understandably, people are running and screaming and believing it's the devil. Father Heany, judgy jerk that he is, steps up here, courageous priest style:

Father Heany in his vestments rushed to the street and confronted the black beast. He swung a crucifix overhead and shouted, "Beelzebub, I command you in the name of all that is holy to turn back! Turn back now, or suffer the wrath of God!".

Nice moment of badassery, dude.

Sadly, it doesn't go well:

The ogre guardians stepped aside, and for one moment the devil faced Father Heany. It pointed the short black staff at the priest. Flames brighter than lightning fanned out, catching Father Heany in the chest. For a moment, Father Heany stood, blazing like a torch, and then the flesh dropped from his bones and his skeleton fell in the middle of the road, amidst a puddle of burning skin. Maggie felt as if her blood froze in her veins.

The ogres trampled Father Heany's body and just kept advancing toward the inn.

Oof.

The monsters realize that a "vanquisher" died here. Maggie, smartly, wants to get the fuck out of there. Orick wants to see what they want and hides behind a tree.

The monsters go to the inn and drag out the innkeeper, Mahoney. He begs for mercy. They demand to know what happened to "the strangers", but Mahoney doesn't know. He's telling the truth, Maggie knows, because he was in bed when they came.

But the ogres thought he was lying. One of them growled, and Beelzebub flapped his wings suddenly and leapt into the air. He landed on John Mahoney, teeth first. Maggie saw red blood spurt from John's head, like the spray of a sea wave as it washes over a rock, then she turned and ran for her life, Orick barreling along beside her.

Okay, I don't think Gallen's really going to have to worry about that whole trafficking with Satan accusation, to be honest. I think the town has bigger shit to worry about.

And we get more example of emotional Maggie and logical Orick:

They hit the woods, rushing through the trees, leaping over logs. Maggie ran until her lungs burned and she could hardly tell which way to go. Still, no matter how far or fast she ran, it did not seem that she was moving far or fast enough to get away. Always she would look behind her, and the town seemed too close, the monsters seemed too close. She probably would have kept running forever, run like a maddened beast to her death, but Orick growled and caught her by the cloak, pulling her to a stop. She screamed and kicked at him, but the bear only growled, "Stop! The strangers went this way! I can follow their trail. We must warn them!"

I love Orick. He's great. But I really wish Maggie got to do more than be irrationally emotional.

Anyway, Orick and Maggie track Everynne and Veriasse. As he runs, he "dreams", "snippets of racial memories stirred in him, visions from the Time of Bears, glimpses of forests from ages past." He also thinks of his own childhood and an encounter, as a cub, with a giant boar. It's a really weirdly written paragraph though. I can appreciate how physical activity can lead to a kind of zen mental state, but Orick is busy trying to track people while monsters chase them. It just doesn't seem thematically appropriate.

There is a cool bit where Orick sees a wight, but it doesn't seem to go anywhere.

Now this bit is interesting:

Orick tasted the scent of the strangers, looked uphill. They had crossed the road shortly before, heading up under the old pines, into a patch of chest-deep ferns on a knoll. Orick saw the bole of a young house-pine up there, grown from a seed gone wild. Though the house had only open holes for doors and windows, it was the kind of place that made a good temporary shelter for travelers. Orick could not see the strangers, but their scent was strong. He suspected they were hiding inside, resting where they could watch the road.

Honestly, between the talking bears and the house-trees, I'm thinking that these people are not on Earth. I know they've been using Irish names for everything, and have even referenced Ireland as a place, and Christianity, but I feel like we might be looking at some kind of Stargate-style transplanted society.

Orick and Maggie hear something coming, so they hide. As it happens, Gallen comes up the road, whistling a tavern song and looking worn. Orick notices that his head is bandaged. Before Orick or Maggie can come out, Gallen is accosted:

pen. An ogre hurried down the road to meet him. The ogre's chest and lower extremities moved into view, and Orick got a close look at the thing. Its long arms—covered with bristly hair and strange, knobby growths—nearly reached the ground, and in one hand it held an enormous black rod, like a shepherd's crook. Its fingers could not have been less than a foot long, and they ended in claws that were like nothing Orick had ever seen on a human or bear. The ogre wore a forest-green leine, belted at the middle, and wore enormous brown boots. As Orick watched, the ogre clenched its fists rhythmically, in and out, in and out, flexing those claws threateningly. For a moment, Orick though it would lash out, catch Gallen by the throat.

"Citizen," the ogre growled in a heavy voice Orick could understand only by listening intently. "I am searching for a man and a woman, strangers to your land, thieves. Have you seen them?"

It's interesting that the ogre is polite. Gallen plays dumb. He asks if the strangers present "as much a spectacle" as the ogre.

The ogre's description of them...well...

"No," the ogre answered softly, hunkering closer to Gallen. "The two I seek are more of your size, citizen. One man is a warrior, skilled in all arms, and he is a scholar. Yet if you saw the pair, your eye would catch only on the woman: she is of unequaled grace and beauty, and at first you would watch her distractedly, almost unaware of anything or anyone else. But the more you watched her movements, the more entrancing she would become. Her every step is like a dance, every soft word a song, and soon you would fall under her spell. If you stood in her presence for an hour, you would think you loved her. If you were with her for a day, you would become lost, and you would find yourself helplessly worshipping her forever—such is her power."

...okay, I KNOW that Everynne's beauty is actually a plot point. And so, kind of, is the fact that she doesn't have notable practical skills. But it still aggravates me. It aggravates me in the context that so far, the only notable female presences have been:

Maggie, who's characterized as extremely, uncontrollably emotional, kissing and then slapping Gallen out of jealousy, and then constantly having to be directed by Orick.

Everynne, who is helpless and beautiful, with Veriasse taking charge of pretty much everything.

And...Orick's nameless girlfriend, who is young and sweet, but has no notable ambitions of her own.

We're four chapters in. We've seen good men and bad, competent men and foolish, old men and young. But these are the women that we have, and I find it a little annoying.

Gallen asks the woman's name and is told: Everynne. And this bothers me too. I don't really blame Gallen for this, I guess. He's curious. But I'm annoyed at Wolverton because denying Gallen her name has been the ONLY thing that Everynne's been able to do completely of her own volition, and this scene completely negates it.

It's a dick move, not necessarily by Gallen himself, but definitely by Wolverton.

Gallen says he saw them and describes Everynne's beauty. Orick is aghast that Gallen would betray them, but Gallen goes on to lie that he saw them hurry up north. Gallen asks what they're supposed to have stolen. Per the ogre, she stole a key of crystal that opens gateways to other worlds. If Gallen returns it, he's promised eternal life.

Whoo.

The ogre orders everyone to the North. Orick emerges to get a good look at ogre as it leaves, mostly for our benefit I'd bet:

Orick could stand it no more. He knew that if he did not get a good look at the ogre now, he might never get another chance. He edged lower in his hiding spot, and his heart began pounding and he wished he'd never seen the thing: the ogre's head was enormous, and its hideous face was deeply creased, while a massive chin hung down like the arm on a sofa. Its lips were reddish brown, the color of burnished wood, and its large teeth were as yellow as pears. Its eyes were as huge as a stallion's testicles, and they were a bright orange. Scraggly brown hair hung limp from its head. All in all, the ogre was like no creature he had ever dreamed.

Anyway, the ogre heads north.

Gallen takes the moment to snark about the reward:

He muttered to himself, "Eternal life, is it? What if I want a bonus? How about eternal life and a pair of laying hens? Or maybe eternal life and a sack of potatoes thrown into the bargain? Would your penurious master go so high?"

Heh.

Anyway, Maggie and Orick greet him at this point. They fill Gallen in. Gallen's immediate reaction is horror at what happened to Father Heany and the innkeeper, which I like. He and Maggie both agree that these creatures are evil and they've got no intention of turning anyone in to them.

Wait, I spoke too soon. Look at this nonsense.

"You wouldn't turn them in, would you?" Maggie asked. "That beast may sound like he's offering some grand reward, but those creatures are devils! Beelzebub himself walked at the head of their procession!"

This is Maggie talking about Everynne and Veriasse. Galen agrees. Then asks Orick to follow them. Then the VERY NEXT PAGE:

"Wait!" Maggie said. "Gallen, we've no cause to get involved in the affairs of the sidhe. Let the devils squabble among themselves. If this woman has stolen something, maybe she deserves to be punished!"

What the fuck? Seriously? I mean, okay, I guess I can accept that there's a difference between not turning Everynne in and helping her. But the tone is incredibly inconsistent. Poor Maggie. Wolverton clearly doesn't seem interest in giving her any kind of consistency.

Gallen gets a dramatic moment here:

Gallen half-closed his eyes in thought, and his long golden hair shone in the sunlight, the bandage holding it like a bloody headband. Orick wondered why his head was bandaged. Gallen looked down at Maggie and Orick, the sun catching his powder-blue eyes. "I don't believe this Everynne is a thief. Her guard was loyal to her. Thieves are never so devoted to their own. Greed wrings all the devotion right out of them."

It is profoundly funny to me that Gallen's had more flowery description so far than Maggie has.

Anyway, Gallen tells them about the vow he just made to Father Brian, about not hesitating if his heart was hot to give someone aid. And now he wants to help Everynne.

Which of course gives Veriasse a chance to make a dramatic appearance:

"Well spoken," a gravelly voice said from the knoll above them. As one, Gallen, Maggie and Orick glanced up. The hill was covered with pines near the top, but the voice had come from close by, from the fern beds not twenty yards away. Suddenly there was movement, and Orick saw a man standing in the ferns, wearing a deep-hooded robe painted in greens and browns. Images of ferns were painted on it so precisely that if the man had remained still, Orick would never have seen him. Yet as the stranger walked downhill toward them, the robe shimmered and turned a soft brown. The man wore two swords at his hip.

The stranger halted in front of Gallen, and his scent was muted—hard to catch even at ten feet. Of all the wondrous things that had happened today, to Orick this was the most wondrous, the man's lack of scent.

The stranger pulled back his hood. He appeared to be in his late forties, but he was well-muscled, and his skin was ruddy tan. His hair had once been a golden brown, but now was turning silver. "I am Veriasse Dussogge," he said, "Everynne's counselor and protector. Will you guide us to the gate now? We are in great need. It will not take long for the vanquishers to discover your ruse and return in greater numbers."

Why the hell was Veriasse described as an old man earlier? Maybe it's my pushing-forty age talking, but "late forties" (in appearance anyway) is hardly "old".

Gallen has a pretty great moment here:

"I can take you," Gallen said, "but we have not yet agreed to a price."

The stranger licked his lips. "You said only a moment ago that your heart was hot to give aid to the Lady Everynne."

"True," Gallen admitted, "but I didn't say that my heart was hot to give it to her for free!"

Veriasse asks him to name his price. Gallen asks about eternal life. And, per Veriasse, while it's not in "Lady Everynne"'s ability to grant that NOW, if she reaches her destination...

Huh. Interesting.

It's not going to be an easy trip though: there will be other gates that she has to pass through. If she makes it to her ultimate destination, then she can come back to pay Gallen's fee. Per Veriasse.

They go to join Everynne, who is wearing her blue robes and "a headdress made of triangular silver bangles fastened with a metal mesh". She's also carrying her harp. I don't mean to judge, but a harp seems like a really cumbersome thing to carry when you're fleeing for your life. Perhaps there's a purpose for it though?

Also, as much as I dig the headgear, it reminds me a little of Sword of Truth, and Kahlan being "in hiding" while wearing her confessor's gown and very long, culturally unacceptable, hair. Though I might be unfair, since Everynne didn't wear it at the inn.

Things get a bit dramatic and cryptic here:

Veriasse stood, and Orick saw that his robes were taking on the colors of the wood—deep grays and greens with splashes of yellow sunlight. Veriasse pulled his hood low over his eyes. "Everynne," he said, "this young man asks eternal life as his reward for leading you to the gate. Will you accept his price?"

Everynne looked at Gallen. "He doesn't know what he is asking. How could he? He doesn't know who I am, nor can he understand the limits of our power." She looked into Gallen's eyes. "When you ask for 'eternal life,' it is not what you think. I could change you—make you so that you will not grow old, cure you of all ills and injuries. Perhaps by doing this, I could extend your life—for a thousand or ten thousand years. I can give you new bodies, keep you so that you are reborn at each death. But you could still be killed. Your life will still end, someday."

Like Veriasse said earlier, it's all contingent on her ultimate success. But the offer seems genuine. Gallen is on board, and offers his hand. Maggie and Orick are opposed to the deal. And Orick...well, maybe I was too quick to criticize Maggie's characterization, because look at this:

"It's a trick—" Orick cut in. "There's things she's not telling you. If you help her, you might not die of old age, but those giant vanquishers can come back and knock your head in! Listen to Maggie. You've no cause to be concerning yourself in her affairs." Orick's heart pounded, and he stared at his friend. Orick was a practical bear, and Gallen's bargain here just didn't make bear sense. Obviously these were magical creatures, and by bargaining with them, Gallen might win eternal life, but would he have a soul when he finished?

This reminds me of that weird paragraph where Maggie wanted to warn Gallen. It follows the same pattern. What Orick says here, like Maggie's desire to warn Gallen, makes complete sense. Gallen hasn't seen the monsters himself. He doesn't know the full dangers that he's agreeing to face. But the part he's not saying outloud: "bear sense" and then the "these are magical beings that might cost Gavin his soul" parts just seem very inconsistent.

I mean, yes, Orick wants to be a priest, but "bear sense" has a connotation of worldly practical matters. Not religious concerns.

Oh well, anyway. Everynne says that if she wins, the monsters will be her servants. They'll never come back to harm them. But there may be other dangers though, especially if Everynne fails.

They want to know what she means, but all Veriasse says is that they're at war.

Gallen decides on a different price then. Not eternal life. He wants to come with them and help make sure Everynne reaches her destination. Everynne claims he'd be a hinderance. Gallen points out that she needs guards and that's what he does.

Orick attributes Gallen's motives to lust. There may be some truth to that, but Gallen explains that she's touched his world and he wants to touch hers.

Everynne tells him, basically, that the gate leads to a maze of worlds. If he came in, he'd only want to go home again. He says his world must be "boring", and Everynne says that a boring world is a valuable commodity.

So now Gallen says he'll ask for nothing in return for his aid. "Only a scoundrel would extort money from a woman in need."

Everynne seems happy. Orick is confused by Gallen's turnabout. Veriasse and Maggie might as well be bushes for all their input in all of this. That might be intentional though. It's hard to tell.

Anyway, the chapter ends with the sound of the vanquishers returning. They run for it.