I Read What?!

Content Warning: Eragon is awful to Saphira (again).

Kerlois: A good day everyone, and welcome back to Eragon! As yet, there is no reader post, so I will leave the stage to Fumurti. I will be back in chapter 13.

Fumurti: Hello, everyone! This time, you’ll be getting a much better look at me. Let’s begin, then!

Chapter Eleven / Twelve: The Doom of Innocence

I don’t really get the chapter title. I mean, I guess it’s supposed to whatever will happen to Garrow and Eragon “losing his innocence” because of that, but 1) that is hardly the thing most readers would care about, and 2) I find that he already lost his innocence when he left Saphira tied to a tree for two weeks, and 3) to quote Galbatorix, “as if any are truly innocent”.

Anyway, the chapter opens on Eragon waking up. I’m amazed he managed to wake up like this at all, given how bad his legs are. Granted, I don’t know too much about this, but shouldn’t the wounds be infected by now? Not that they will be, for unexplained reasons. I guess Umaroth’s up to his tricks again.

Manual Patch Job: 51

S Manual Patch Job: 52

Anyway, Eragon thinks the sky has fallen, as “[a]n unbroken plane of blue” stretches over his head and to the ground. Half asleep, he reaches out and feels “a thin membrane” under his fingers. It takes him “a long minute” to realise that he is looking at Saphira’s wing. Ah yes, here is something Paolini’s quite fond of writing, but isn’t very good at: confused viewpoint characters. They mostly end up either too lucid, or fail to make connections that they should. He bends his neck a bit and “glare[s] at the scaly haunch his head rest[s] on.” Um, why does he glare at Saphira? Because she dared to have a panic attack earlier? Also, Eragon, you are the reason you’re here.

Hell-Bound Partners: 139

S Hell-Bound Partners: 140

He slowly extends his legs “from his fetal curl, scabs cracking.”

One, “fetal” is a word that Eragon should absolutely not know.

Forgot the Narrator: 18

S Forgot the Narrator: 21

And two, his wounds scabbed over during the night? He’s very lucky his pants didn’t stick in them.

The Power of Plot Compels You!: 76

S The Power of Plot Compels You!: 78

He says the pain is less than yesterday, but he shrinks from the thought of walking. Not that this kept him from sleeping, though.

“Burning hunger” reminds him of the food he has missed. The self-published edition notes that his fingers are cold, “though the surrounding air [is] stifling.” Never mind the earlier note about the air “immediately losing its frigidity”.

S Forgot Your Own Canon Again?: 106

What bothers me more than the continuity errors, though, is the complete lack of emotion from Eragon. Yes, he does get angry for a bit, but there is no fear for what might happen to Garrow or something. By rights, he should be worried about that, but we get more on exactly how he physically feels like. Let him react, Paolini!

Reaction, Please: 64

S Reaction, Please: 64

He summons up the energy to move, and “pounds weakly” on Saphira’s side, before yelling at her to wake up. And he couldn’t have tried to contact her mentally why? There’s just no reason for this. And no, “he is angry because she took him to the Spine” doesn’t count.

Hell-Bound Partners: 140

S Hell-Bound Partners: 141

Murdered by the Convocation: 8

S Murdered by the Convocation: 9

She stirs and lifts her wing “to admit a torrent of sunshine”. The self-published edition notes that he sits up. He is momentarily blinded by the reflection of the sun on the snow. Next to him, “Saphira stretche[s] like a cat” (not like a dragon, of course), and yawns, “flashing rows of white teeth.” So Alagaësian dragons really do have multiple rows of teeth. Interesting detail. Too bad that it almost never comes up.

Paoclichés: 17

S Paoclichés: 20

When his eyes adjust to the glare, he can see where they are. They’re surrounded by “[i]mposing and unfamiliar mountains” that cast deep shadows. On one side, he can see a trail cut into the forest, and from that direction, he can hear “the muffled gurgling of a creek”.

Eragon manages to stand up, and then “hobbles to a tree”. He grabs one of the branches and throws his weight on it, which causes it to break off. He “rip[s] off the twigs”, and puts it under his arm as a kind of crutch. With this help, he goes to the creek, which has iced over. He breaks through the ice, and “cup[s] the clear, bitter water.” Ah yes, he must be very thirsty, too. Which is why that was not mentioned before now.

When he has drunk enough, he goes back to the clearing. And all the way, no emotional reaction from him. When he comes out of the forest, he recognises where he is. It is the place where Saphira’s egg first appeared! Oh, that is interesting.

Eragon “sag[s] against a rough trunk” for some reason. He says there can be no mistake, as he can see the pine trees that had their needles blown off. He then goes to think again. He wonders how Saphira knew where this was, as she was still in the egg. The self-published edition inserts a quite unnecessary ellipse here. He determines that “[his] memories” must have given her the information she needed, and he shakes his head “in silent astonishment.”

Um, I don’t think she could have got anything from your memories, given that she was too occupied with her own mind, which you should know, given that you tried to break in for an hour.

Ill Logic: 125

S Ill Logic: 146

I’d rather suggest her ancestral memories or the like. Other than that, I do wonder why she chose this place specifically. Maybe because it’s the farthest place in the Spine she knows might be safe?

Manual Patch Job: 52

S Manual Patch Job: 53

Well, he goes over to Saphira, who is “waiting patiently” for him. He asks her if she will take him home. She cocks her head at that. And here is where things get really bad for a bit, so I will take this bit for bit. If you want to skip this, I’ll include three asterisks to signal the end.

I know you don’t want to, but you must.

Not too bad, yet. My main gripe is that I’d have used “you have to” instead of “you must”. Now, it comes across more like Eragon has decided this, and less like it is necessary to do so.

We can’t stay here forever. S

But she didn’t say anything to that effect, Eragon! She only said that she was afraid of the strangers, so the obvious implication is that she would go back if the strangers were not there anymore! Also, you have been here for less than half a day, and the greatest part of that time, you were sleeping. So why are you acting as if Saphira is stalling? Also, this sentence does not fit with the rest at all, so it was a good thing it was cut.

Oh, and as we will soon find out, Eragon’s speech here is meant to anger Saphira, so I will cut him no slack at all.

S Hell-Bound Partners: 142

Both of us carry an obligation to Garrow.

I think… this might be true? Though I don’t see why Saphira would be obligated to help Garrow when she barely knows him. I mean, she could help him, because he’s in danger and she can do so, but that ought to be something she decides for herself, not something that Eragon forces on her.

Also, why can’t Eragon just say “we should help Garrow”? Why does it have to be “an obligation”?

He has cared for me, and through me, you.

Well, if you count “deliberately isolating you from Carvahall” as caring. More relevantly, this doesn’t work like that, Eragon. He had no idea that he cared for Saphira, so if we go by the idea that caring for someone gives an obligation, this doesn’t quite work, especially since he did nothing to care specifically for her.

And again, why does he have take this tack? Why does he try to guilt-trip her?

Hell-Bound Partners: 141

S Hell-Bound Partners: 143

Would you ignore that debt?

1) I cannot follow Eragon’s reasoning here. Oh, I do understand it, but I simply hate the idea that helping someone places the helped one in “debt”. To use this situation as an example, if Saphira is in Garrow’s debt, what can he make her do to pay that debt? And also, who determines the size of the debt? The person to who it is owed? That sounds like a recipe for slavery to me. I could probably work this out further, and I’m probably missing a lot of nuance, but I don’t feel like spending more time in this part of my argument.

2) Saphira is not ignoring Garrow’s plight! She is simply scared to go there! Those are two very different things, and I hate Eragon for suggesting otherwise. Not to mention that he must know this, as he’s making mental contact now! And he’s doing this to make her angry, deliberately!

3) Seriously, there is literally no reason for him to do this at all. We have no reason to assume that Saphira wouldn’t help him! And also, there will never be any follow-up to this, which just leaves me with the impression that this is not meant to be seen as abusive.

Hell-Bound Partners: 146 (+5)

S Hell-Bound Partners: 148 (+5)

What will be said of us in years to come if we don’t return—that we hid like cowards while my uncle was in danger?

It might be poor form to admit this, but I would love to punch Eragon right in the face at this moment.

1) Eragon, I don’t care how often you say that Saphira “doesn’t want to return”, that does not make it true!

2) You being here is the reason you will have years to come! And, because of that, this entire threat falls flat.

3) Eragon, hiding from enemies you can’t win a fight from is wisdom, not cowardice. And don’t you dare call Saphira a coward for fleeing!

I can hear it now, the story of the Rider and his craven dragon!

I just refer to my above remarks.

Hell-Bound Partners: 151 (+5)

S Hell-Bound Partners: 153 (+5)

If there will be a fight, let’s face it and not shy away.

1) If there will be a fight, Eragon. You don’t know if the Ra’zac will still be there when you get there, nor if they want to put up a fight.

2) As Kerlois has exhaustively laid out, what do you expect to do? The Ra’zac have mind-control, and you know that! You would only end up getting captured, and likely Saphira, too! You would only make things worse!

3) What kind of position is this even? “You should always take on fights, no matter how badly outmatched you are, else you’ll be a coward”? That’s a terrible position to take.

4) And yes, I can see him wanting to rescue Garrow, sure. I’m just bothered that he doesn’t take a moment to think about how dangerous the Ra’zac might be. He doesn’t even seem to remember.

Ill Logic: 126

S Ill Logic: 147

Why Are We Doing This?: 51

S Why Are We Doing This?: 53

You are a dragon! Even a Shade would run from you!

I doubt that very much. After all, Saphira is far from full-grown, and she can’t breathe fire yet. We’ve also seen Durza in the prologue, and, if nothing else, he could easily set her on fire.

Yet you crouch in the mountains like a frightened rabbit.

That’s because the Ra’zac could easily mind-control her, Eragon! What, do you want to get her killed, then? Just. I really can’t say how much I hate this scene,

Hell-Bound Partners: 157 (+6)

S Hell-Bound Partners: 159 (+6)

~~~

Eragon meant to anger her, and he succeeded.

And this is why I didn’t cut him any slack just now. Also, good to see that he wanted to hurt her, so she would be angry.

By the way, why does he want to have her be angry? So she’ll be readier to fight the Ra’zac? If that’s the case, he could have done so without being so horrible to her. And also, that will do absolutely nothing against the Ra’zac, which, again, Eragon should know. If anything, Saphira might decide to leave him here alone, because she’s fed up with how he’s been treating her, and then where would he be?

Ill Logic: 127

S Ill Logic: 148

I do not like the framing here, either. If we go with “Eragon does this to get her riled up for a possible fight”, it feels to me like it’s presented as justified. And it also feels like this is “for the greater good”, as if every method is justified to make Saphira go to help Garrow. Never mind that taking a few minutes to talk her into it would barely make a difference, and might even save their lives.

Hell-Bound Partners: 162 (+5)

S Hell-Bound Partners: 164 (+5)

This Is Fine: 79 (+5)

S This Is Fine: 84 (+5)

A growl rippled in her throat as her head jabbed within a few inches of his face. She bared her fangs and glared at him, smoke trailing from her nostrils.

That should be “jabbed to within a few inches”.

PPP: 436

S PPP: 487

I do like that she lets him see her anger. In fact, let me write some more…

I will do my best to rescue Garrow. You were right. I have neglected my duty as a dragon, and I owe it to him to make the effort.

As Eragon made to climb onto her, she unfolded her wings and took off. She was halfway across the clearing before he understood what was happening. Saphira, come back here immediately!

Why? I do not owe you anything. Yes, you have raised me, but you also tied me to a tree for several weeks. If you want me to give you another chance, you have to prove yourself to me.

You can’t just leave me here!

You did the same to me. Besides, you’ve walked back this way once before. I am certain you can do it again. And with that, she closed her mind to him.

He tried to make her listen to him, only to be met by such a vicious mental attack that he could do nothing but defend himself for some time.

When he finally could look again, it was to see Saphira disappear behind a mountain ridge.

Anyway.

He hoped that he had not gone too far.

Well, maybe you should have thought of that before you tried to get her angry! Also, if she’d bite off your head or something, that would be your own fault.

Her thoughts reached him, red with anger. Blood will meet blood. I will fight.

Well, you’ve got her to fight. Good job, I guess.

Our wyrds, our fates, bind us, but try me not. S

Our wyrds—our fates—bind us, but try me not. K

Ah yes, more nonsense about “fate”. So she is saying that she apparently can’t leave him, because of “fate”? Great.

Resistance Is Futile: 3

S Resistance Is Futile: 5

Also, why does Saphira know the word “wyrd”? That does not sound like something Eragon would know.

Forgot the Narrator Speaker: 19

S Forgot the Narrator Speaker: 22

I will take you because of debt owed, but into foolishness we fly.

1) So he managed to get her to go along because of the “debt”, not because it would be the right thing to do. Great.

2) I don’t what’s up with the sentence structure here. It sounds very off for Saphira, anyway.

Forgot the Narrator Speaker: 20

S Forgot the Narrator Speaker: 23

3) Also, she is, again, right. Trying to fight the Ra’zac would be utterly foolish, and yet Eragon has no problems with it.

Ill Logic: 132

S Ill Logic: 153

Well, that is that at least.

***

Eragon says out loud that, “[f]oolishness or not”, they must go. But first you make sure the Ra’zac are gone, Eragon. The self-published edition notes that “[h]e follows words with action” and unbuttons his coat and shirt. Then he buttons the coat back on, and then rips the shirt in half and puts the halves into his pants. And yes, this edition does use “shirt” instead of “coat”, which makes for a completely nonsensical sentence. And yes, this edition was edited, too.

S PPP: 488

Not to mention that this description is really unnecessary, and we’re also waiting to get back to Garrow.

S Get to the Point Already: 22

Anyway, the Knopf edition fixes both issues, by just having Eragon rip his shirt in half. He climbs onto Saphira and holds her neck tightly. He tells her to fly “lower and faster”, as time is of the essence.

She warns him not to let go (as if he needs that), and then lifts off. As soon as she is above the forest, she levels out. Eragon’s stomach heaves, and he is glad it is empty. Me too; I don’t really need another description of him vomiting.

He tells Saphira to go even faster. She does she so without saying anything. He shuts his eyes and “hunches his shoulders”. He says that he hoped that putting his shirt in would help protect his legs, but it proves to be, of course, insufficient. Soon, “lines of hot blood trickle[] down his calves.” Ouch. You know, let me talk about this, too.

We really should have had Eragon feel something about this before now. Because looking back at the scene that we had just now, Eragon has absolutely no fear of riding Saphira again, no matter how much it might hurt, and he doesn’t think about how he plans to fight the Ra’zac in this state, either. And so, this has little impact. If we could see his fear about this, the inevitable happening would mean something, but now, if Eragon doesn’t care about it, why should we?

Reaction, Please: 65

S Reaction, Please: 65

At this, “[c]oncern emanate[s]” from Saphira, and she flies even faster. The land goes by “like it [is] being pulled out from under them”, and Eragon imagines that they will be just “a blur” to someone on the ground. They are not going nearly fast enough for that, though.

The self-published edition inserts some more descriptions of how long it takes (which makes sense, given how eager Eragon is to return), and of the sun peaking and going down again. So, in “early afternoon”, they shoot over a ridge and go into Palancar Valley. The Knopf edition just says that, by that time, they reached the valley.

We get a brief description: to the south, his sight is blocked by clouds, and to the north lies Carvahall. The self-published edition also gives a description of the Igualda Falls, which just ruins the pacing.

S Get to the Point Already: 23

Saphira glides into the valley, while Eragon looks for the farm. When he spots it, “fear jolt[s] him.” “A black plume with orange flames dancing at its base rose from the farm.” Oooh, that’s very bad indeed! At least the Ra’zac live up to their promise here.

He points at the farm and tells Saphira to get him down there immediately. She “lock[s] her wings” and dives steeply. Then she changes course a bit, so they fly toward the forest. Eragon screams over the wind that Saphira should land in the fields. No idea why he doesn’t talk to her mentally.

Ill Logic: 128

S Ill Logic: 149

Eragon holds on very tight as they drop down. A hundred feet from the ground (some thirty metres), she drives her wings downward, which slows them. She lands heavily, which throws Eragon to the ground. He manages to stagger upright, “gasping for breath.”

We then get a look at the farm, which has been “blasted apart”. I doubt that the Ra’zac meant for this to happen, for several reasons I will get into in this chapter and the next. Anyway, we now get a very choppy description of the exploded house.

PPP: 437

S PPP: 489

The walls and roof lie spread across a large area, and the wood is “pulverized”, “as if a giant hammer [has] smashed it.” “Sooty shingles” lie everywhere. All that’s left of the stove are “[a] few twisted metal plates”. There are holes in the snow from “smashed white crockery” and “chunks of bricks from the chimney”. Um, where does the crockery come from? We never saw that in the house, and there must have been lots of it, too. You need to establish this, Paolini!

PPP: 438

S PPP: 490

“Thick, oily smoke” comes from the fiercely burning barn. The farm animals are gone, “either killed or frightened away.” Not that we will ever find out what happened to them, but that will be a matter for Eldest.

The self-published edition notes that Eragon stands “transfixed, stunned”.

S PPP: 491

Comma splice aside, I can easily imagine that. In both editions, he shouts “uncle”, and runs to the wreckage. In the self-published edition, he calls out again, but there is no answer. Either way, he looks through the ruins of the house, but there is no trace of Garrow.

I think this is much better done than what comes before. Eragon running is a nice way to show the urgency of the situation, and since Garrow is missing, anything might have been done to him.

He cries “uncle” again, and Saphira walks up to his side. Not that she tries to scent out where Garrow might be, or something practical like that. Okay, she probably doesn’t know his scent as well as Eragon’s, but she ought to be able to get some information by sniffing around the farm.

Hell-Bound Partners: 163

S Hell-Bound Partners: 163

Ill Logic: 128

S Ill Logic: 149

Look Away: 347

S Look Away: 354

Yep, these points are for Saphira, because she refuses to do something that is easily within her power to help Garrow. It gets only one point because it will turn out not to matter, but she still ought to try.

Anyway. Saphira says unhelpfully that “[s]orrow broods here”. Eragon screams at her that this wouldn’t have happened if Saphira hadn’t flown away with him. Well, 1) you could also not have jumped on her back while she was having a panic attack, and 2) do you really think you could have somehow stopped the Ra’zac?!

I especially don’t get the second point. Eragon seems to have literally forgotten that the Ra’zac can mind-control him, for no conceivable reason.

Why Are We Doing This?: 51

S Why Are We Doing This?: 53

Saphira says, as I and Kerlois have already exhaustively laid out, that Eragon would not be alive if they had stayed. Given what we will see of the Ra’zac, that could be true, too. Eragon does not take kindly to this:

“Look at this!” he screamed. “We could’ve warned Garrow! It’s your fault he didn’t get away!”

Hmmm. While his insistence that Garrow was killed because of Saphira is nonsensical and very awful, I am inclined to cut him slack here. After all, for all he knows, Garrow might be dead. I can hardly expect him to be reasonable in such a situation, and there will be no indication later on that he actually believes what he says here. So I don’t really have much else to say about this.

Eragon slams his fist against “a pole”. No idea where that pole would even be in the house.

PPP: 439 (for the poor scene-setting)

S PPP: 492

Well, this “split[s] the skin on his knuckles” and blood drips down his fingers as he stalks out of the house. He goes to the path that leads to the road, and goes to examine the snow there. He can see several tracks, but his “vision [is] blurry” and he can barely see. And then we get this:

Am I going blind? he wondered. With a shaking hand, he touched his cheeks and found them wet.

Why would Eragon think he is going blind? There has been nothing until now to suggest that. Also, if we’re going for confusion here, wouldn’t it be better if Eragon just had no idea what was happening here?

Why Are We Doing This?: 52

S Why Are We Doing This?: 54

The self-published edition has this extra bit:

Tears. They seemed so strange and distant. Anguished, he hung his head like a whipped dog.

It’s not all that bad, and it’s nice to see Eragon actually recognise that he’s crying.

Anyway, Saphira walks over to him, “sheltering him with her wings”. Oh, that’s actually a very sweet gesture. She tells him to “[t]ake comfort”, as all may not be lost. Eragon looks up at her, “searching for hope”. She tells him to look at the trail, as she sees “only two sets of prints”, and that means that Garrow could not have been taken away.

Well, that is not proof in and of itself. Without any further description, this might be the Ra’zac carrying Garrow away, or Garrow walking alongside one of the Ra’zac.

Also, Saphira’s dialogue here is really stiff. For example, she says “my eyes see only two sets of prints”. There’s no reason for her to be doing this.

Forgot the Narrator Speaker: 21

S Forgot the Narrator Speaker: 24

Why Are We Doing This?: 53

S Why Are We Doing This?: 55

And this specific bit makes me suspect that Paolini literally forgot Saphira could sniff out Garrow earlier.

What Dragons?: 271

S What Dragons?: 271

Anyway, let me cut off on this hopeful note, as I’ve gone halfway through the chapter. See you next time!