I Read What?!

Chapter Eleven (Part II) | Table of Contents | Chapter Twelve (Part II)

Fumurti: Welcome back to Eragon, everyone! Before I begin with the reader post, there are some announcements to make:

1) I have decided to remove the counts for the self-published edition, as they are quite hard to manage, and I also think they don’t add that much, given that the Knopf edition is by far the more read one.

2) There is another change of schedule: for the rest of this book, we will have two chapters with Corneille Noire, then two chapters with Kerlois, and then two chapters with me. This means that Corneille Noire will be doing this chapter, and that you will be seeing me again in chapter sixteen.

On to the reader post, then!

On part I of chapter 3:

-Both Chessy and Tris point out that there should have been gossip about Selena.

-Regarding Eragon eating chicken, they point out it might make sense if “one of the chickens had stopped laying or died”, but that should have been noted.

-Tris says that the description of what Eragon’s family is harvesting is “Barely passable at BEST”, and also that the potatoes from the self-published edition make more sense than the Knopf edition.

-They also point out that Carvahall does not have a “main street”, despite what the book claims.

On part II of chapter 11:

-Epistler points out that it makes little sense for the Ra’zac to wear boots. I will give it a pass, since their feet might fit.

With that, here goes CN! *leaves*

Corneille Noire: Why, thank you, Fumurti. I had not expected to be back this soon, but I do not mind it, either.

Chapter Twelve / Thirteen: Deathwatch

Well, that is a bit of a spoiler, though it is not very unexpected, either, as Fumurti has so nicely laid out. A note in advance: this chapter will be quite heavily edited, so that might be interesting.

We open on Eragon dreaming, and his dreams “breed[] and [live] by their own laws.” The self-published edition has some more to say here. It says that the dreams “own[] [Eragon’s] consciousness”, “twisting and directing it to their own whims.” That does not sound good. Eragon is chased by nightmares “until he [flees] and seem[s] to sail over the land.” In his dreams, he flies out of Palancar Valley and “over distant paths”. So he can flee his nightmares by physically going to another spot in his dreams? Interesting.

He sees “[g]reat sights”, “strange vistas of raw lands where giants and monsters roam[].” Hmmm, I feel like this is quite telling about how Eragon views the world, and not necessarily in a good way. Then again, he will not be all that racist to most people later on, so I will let this slide. Eragon is just dreaming this, by the way; there are no giants in Alagaësia, there are no places I would call “raw lands”, and as for monsters… well, that is more subjective, but I certainly would not describe any creature like that.

Back to common ground between the versions, there is an italicised vision (that is how we know it is important, after all). I will show it in full, without the italics:

(Both editions):

He watched as a group of people on proud horses approached a lonely river. Many had silver hair and carried tall lances. A strange, fair ship waited for them, shining under a bright moon.

(Self-published edition):

The figures slowly boarded the vessel; two of them, taller than the rest, walking arm in arm.

(Knopf edition):

The figures slowly boarded the vessel; two of them, taller than the rest, walked arm in arm.

(Both editions):

Their faces were obscured by cowls, but he could tell that one was a woman. They stood on the deck of the ship and faced the shore. A man stood alone on the pebble beach, the only one who had not boarded the ship. He threw back his head and let out a long, aching cry.

(Self-published edition):

As it faded, without a breeze or oars, the ship glided down the river, out into the flat, empty land.

(Knopf edition):

As it faded, the ship glided down the river, without a breeze or oars, out into the flat, empty land.

(Both editions):

The vision clouded, but just before it disappeared, Eragon glimpsed two dragons in the sky.

And that is the vision. Now for my thoughts on it:

· I like this vision. I certainly do. I especially like how relatively simple the prose is, which makes it easy for me to visualise exactly what is happening here.

· Regarding the content of the vision… it does not give away very much, but at the same time, we do get some new information. I think we can be quite certain that the people from the vision are elves, so we now know that elves are outside of Du Weldenvarden. And there is probably another dragon beside Saphira and Shruikan, too. So now we have something to look out for, and we can theorise about the road the book will take to get there.

· For that reason, and since I know that there are people who have not read further than this, I invite them to theorise about this vision. Here is the map of Alagaësia, so you can try to pick out the place this should take place at. Should you find this out before it is revealed, we will reveal it to everyone (this goes for any detail, by the way).

· On a somewhat different note, Paolini did find a good place to have this vision while not having Eragon remember it. So, kudos for that.

· Also, I think this worked slightly better with the lead-in from the self-published edition. The Knopf edition now has a line about Eragon sleeping, and then the vision in the same paragraph, which is just… clumsy.

PPP: 440

Now we get another paragraph that is only in the self-published edition. After the vision, Eragon “[sinks] into a dreamless rest”, and soon he dreams about going to various locations again. Sometimes, he wakes a little. Once, he sees Brom, who has had his head bandaged. He says something to Eragon, and “seem[s] to wait for an answer”. I am not entirely sure why he expects an answer from someone who is unconscious…

Eragon also sees other faces, “worried and mumbling things he [can] not hear”. Again and again he sees “a pleasant-face concerned woman” hovering over him. He tries to talk to her, but it does not succeed. She smiles and “cluck[s] in a contented way”. He dreams about the faces until he hardly knows what is real and what not. Hmmm, Paolini really does like writing about confused protagonists, it seems.

Then both editions have a timeskip.

Eragon slowly awakens. He is first aware of creaking, “back and forth, back and forth”. The sound makes him open his eyes, and he sees the “underside of a thatched roof.” Someone has draped a “rough blanket” over him, which “conceal[s] his nakedness”. And presumably keeping him warm, too; it is quite cold outside, after all. He says that “[s]omeone has bandaged his legs and tied a clean rag around his knuckles.” But no mention of the splinters in his hands, I see.

Forgot Your Own Canon Again?: 85

Other than that, good to see that Eragon has recovered just fine from the wounds on his legs, and that nothing has become infected! (Yes, it is my turn to complain about this.) By rights, Eragon ought to be dead by now. (True, I am not a medical professional, so do not trust me entirely.) He has been bleeding from the wounds on his thighs for hours at a time, he also spent a day with open wounds (and yes, he bandaged them with his shirt, but I do not think that is very clean, either), and I do not think that Gertrude has very advanced medical technology.

The only way this makes sense is outside magical intervention. I do not suspect Umaroth for this, as that does not fit with his powers (and I have to correct Kerlois on this count, too, as causing leg wounds does not fit either). Who it might be then… I have no idea.

Manual Patch Job: 56

Eragon now looks around, and he sees he is in “a single-room hut”. Um, why does Gertrude have a single-room hut? Would it not be better for her to have one of the larger buildings in Carvahall? She is the town healer, after all.

We get more description. There are a “mortar and pestle” on a table with “bowls and piles of plants”. The Knopf edition changes that to “bowls and plants”. There are “dried herbs” on the walls, that fill the air with “strong, earthy aromas”. Hmm, the description is not exactly great here. Why is Eragon spending so much time on describing a place he has presumably been to before, anyway?

Now the two editions diverge a bit. I will do the self-published edition first.

Flames writhe in a “stone fireplace”, “caressing the bottom of a stained brass pot.” Then we move on to a “rotund woman with graying hair”, who is unsurprisingly Gertrude. She sits in a “wicker rocking chair” before the fire, and she wears “a shawl and a coarse blouse”. She is almost asleep, as her head “loll[s] to the side”, and her eyes are closed. She has knitting needles and a ball of wool in her lap. Ah yes, there we have another thing this series really likes: knitting.

Gertrude keeps the chair rocking and creaking with “[a] twitch in her foot”. Eragon recognises her as “the woman he [has] seen fussing over him.” My, what a revelation this is. This edition already told us about Gertrude the healer in chapter 2, after all, so it would not be hard to put together that the woman fussing over him when he is wounded is Gertrude the healer. There has also not been enough focus on Eragon’s confusion to justify this, so it is… quite unnecessary to have here.

On to the Knopf edition, then!

This edition also mentions flames writhing in a fireplace, and then moves on to Gertrude, who gets the same description. This edition identifies her as “the town healer, Gertrude”, since she was not identified in this edition earlier. Come to think of it, the earlier bit with Eragon recognises her as Gertrude might work if she hadn’t been mentioned in chapter 2. Then the reader could be mystified by who this woman might be, which I think is the intended effect. But it did not work in the self-published edition, and it is not in here, either, so the potential is wasted. *sighs*

This edition deletes the bit about Gertrude’s clothing, and skips to her being nearly asleep. Hmmm, is that what she should be doing? Well, she knows that Eragon is doing quite well, and she is mostly waiting for him to wake up, so I do not think this poses much danger, and I am willing to let this pass. This edition also notes the knitting needles and wool in her lap, and it deletes the rest of the paragraph.

The self-published edition says that Eragon “drift[s] in and out of sleep.” He feels “drained of willpower”, and the bed is just so very soft. He looks around for his clothes, but he cannot see them anywhere. “Groggy”, he sits up. Hmmm, I see that “groggy” is not that young a word, but it still feels out of place…

The Knopf edition cuts this down to Eragon failing drained of willpower, and making himself sit up.

Both editions say that this helps clear his mind. He sorts through his memories of “the last two days” (time measurement according to Eragon). “His first thought was of Garrow, and his second of Saphira.” Well, at least his priorities are in good order. He hopes that she is “in a safe place”, and he tries to contact her. Nice of him to try to reach her as soon as he is alert! This fails, however, so he deduces that she must be quite far away from Carvahall.

He then thinks that at least Brom got him into Carvahall. And Garrow too, presumably. Come to think of it, we never do find out how this happened. Did Brom pull Eragon and Garrow into Carvahall all by himself, then? I assume so, but it ought to be clearer.

Manual Patch Job: 57

Missing Puzzle Pieces: 198

He wonders what happened to Brom, because “there was all that blood”. Oh, we will find out soon enough (it was Brom being ridiculously confident). On another note, Eragon wondering this is written like this: “I wonder what happened to him?”. And I hate it. First, why does he think “I wonder”? He is not talking to anyone, after all, so why does he need to tell himself that he is indeed wondering this?? Second, why does this sentence have a question mark? Wondering something is not asking that as a question, Paolini! Let me rewrite this:

What happened to him?

There we go. Come to think of it, the original sentence feels like Paolini has Eragon tell the audience that he is wondering this. Only, 1) Eragon is not aware of the audience, and 2) the audience can work that out just fine themselves.

Forgot Ignored the Narrator: 24

Thanks for Explaining: 4

The self-published edition has more things here.

Eragon stretches his neck. He thinks that he will need to come up with something to explain his legs. Well, whatever explanation you may come up with, I doubt it can properly explain what happened to you… He thinks he can say that the Ra’zac were after “the stone”, as that is the truth, but of course not “that [he] was off riding a dragon!” So why bother to mention this, then? Also, why does he refer to the egg as “the stone”? Yes, he will probably call it that to the others, but why do that while thinking to himself?

Anyway, he “discusse[s] the issue with himself to pass the time”. In both editions, Gertrude wakes up and opens her “sparkling eyes”.

Shine Bright Like A Diamond: 6

I am glad to see Gertrude, by the way, as she is easily one of the most well-defined Carvahallians, and, as we will see later, the only one who seems to be capable of perceiving anything beyond the “surface-level” of these books. Well, that is for later, and others will have to talk about that.

On a very different note, I just realised that the Knopf edition has a mention of “Gertrude” previous chapter, without any explanation as to who that is. That is why you do not haphazardly cut things, Paolini!

PPP: 441

Regardless, she notes that Eragon is awake. Her voice is “rich and warm”, which the self-published edition notes is “perfect for soothing patients”. It also notes that she removes the shawl. In both editions, she asks how Eragon feels.

Eragon says “[w]ell enough”, and here there is a significant difference between the two editions. In the Knopf edition, he immediately asks where Garrow is, but the self-published edition has quite some things between it, that have been deleted during editing. Let us have a look at that, then.

Eragon says that nothing hurts very much, and his legs “aren’t even that bad”. Gertrude’s response… well, see it for yourself:

“That’s what a little yarrow and heal-all will do,” she said cheerily.

1) I am very certain that “a little yarrow and heal-all” will not completely stop potential infection and entirely reverse considerable blood loss.

2) This also does not fit with Gertrude’s general competency (for example, she successfully supervises a quite difficult birth in Inheritance), nor with her own observations from Eldest.

3) Why is she saying this “cheerily”? Yes, it is good that Eragon has woken up, but, as we will soon find out, he has lain here unconscious for two days. That does not exactly seem like a situation that calls for “cheer” to me, even more so since Garrow is in quite bad condition.

Gertrude then asks if Eragon is hungry. He “doubtfully” says he is not, but he is sure he must be, since he has not eaten in some time. Yes, Eragon is quite energetic for someone who has been through what he has, is he not? That is something that Umaroth could (and would) do.

Manual Patch Job: 58

Gertrude suggests “a little tea” for Eragon. That is certainly a good idea, since he has not drunk anything for quite some time, but I do not see how this would help with him being hungry. She pulls out a kettle “from under the table” and crumbles some herbs into it. She says that “[h]ot vervain” will do him good, as it will “calm his nerves” (Eragon already seems very calm to me), and get something in his stomach, which she is sure is “emptier than a dry well”. Then, she hangs the kettle over the fire.

Um, let me look up some paragraphs… There it says that a “stained brass pot” already hangs there. So what does she need that for? I see that continuity in the self-published edition is very bad indeed.

Now we come back to Eragon asking where Garrow is. The Knopf edition certainly does better here, by having Eragon ask this immediately, instead of waiting for a few paragraphs.

Gertrude takes the chair to the bed. She explains that Garrow is at Horst’s house, as she does not have enough room “to keep both of [them] here”. She says having to go between the two houses to see if they were alright “[has] kept [her] on [her] toes”.

Alright, let me now complain about this set-up at length.

1) Why is there no room for two people at Gertrude’s house? I do not think that having to treat two patients at the same time is such an uncommon occurrence that it would not be worth getting extra room. And why can she not go to a house with multiple rooms, then? Or why can Horst not enlarge the house? (As we will soon see, he has built a massive house by himself).

Also, no one will do anything to remedy this even after the present time. No one seems to view it as a problem, it seems.

Ill Logic: 130 (+2)

2) Why is Eragon at Gertrude? If she can only treat one person at her hut, that ought to be Garrow, because he is more severely injured than Eragon!

Ill Logic: 131

3) Why not keep both Eragon and Garrow at Horst’s house? We will soon see that there is more than enough room there, and that would also save Gertrude all this trouble. She could stay there and have someone fetch her supplies for her when she needs them.

This would also have little consequences for the plot. Even the justification for why Eragon cannot see Garrow just yet would work; after all, I doubt sleeping in Horst’s house would make him much stronger than he is now.

4) In conclusion, this just baffles me. Why would they have done this? Why put this in here? Why not adjust it between editions?

Ill Logic: 136 (+5)

Well, Eragon “swallow[s] his worries” and asks how Garrow is. Gertrude looks at her hands for a while, which I think says enough on its own, then she says that he is not doing good. He has “a fever that refuses to break”, and his injuries do not heal. The self-published edition adds that she has tried everything she can to get his temperature down, “but nothing works”.

I would not expect something else, really. Gertrude has undoubtedly done her best, but there is only so much she can do with the means she has.

Eragon decides he has to see Garrow, and tries to get up. A nice sentiment, but given his current state, he would do better to wait a bit. Gertrude completely agrees, as she pushes him down, and tells him that he must wait “until [he] eat[s] and drink[s]”. The Knopf edition changes this to “until you eat”. I think this was because the bit about the vervain tea was cut, but now it comes across like Gertrude has no idea that Eragon should drink, too. So here is another part where the edit made the story worse.

In both editions, she says that she did not spend “all this time” on him so he could hurt himself again. “Half the skin” on his legs was gone (which I sincerely hope is meant hyperbolically…), and he had a fever that only dissolved the evening before. He is lucky that it did not take longer for him to recover. Well, having someone like Umaroth watch over you tends to work wonders…

In the self-published edition, she tells him to drink the vervain tea “while [she] make[s] him broth”. She also says he can try “solid food” a little later, which seems like solid advice to me.

In both editions, she tells Eragon not to worry, as Garrow is “a tough man”, and he will be fine. Yes, he is the same man who was described as looking “mummified” earlier; he will certainly be fine.

Now both editions have entirely different things. The self-published one goes first. Gertrude takes the kettle off, as it has begun to whistle. She pours the “water” (should that not be “tea”?) into “a leather-wrapped mug” and gives it to Eragon. He blows on it and drinks it carefully. His stomach grumbles “as the steaming liquid sloshe[s] down his throat.” “Slosh” does not sound quite right to me… Also, why in the world does Gertrude let Eragon drink steaming tea?? That is very dangerous!

On to the Knopf edition. Here, Gertrude hangs a kettle over the fire, and begins “chopping parsnips for soup”. So she does know that he ought to get hydrated. That is a relief.

In both editions, Eragon asks how long he has been there. Gertrude says “[t]wo full days”. That means it is now the 21^st of December. Also, Eragon has been unconscious for two entire days. That is quite serious indeed. In fact, I am quite sure this is the longest period Eragon will be unconscious in this series… No, he will also be out for two days later in this book.

Eragon is rightly shocked by this, only his reaction looks like this: “That meant his last meal had been four mornings ago!” Yes, he is only shocked that he has not eaten for a long time, not that he was unconscious for two days, or that he could easily have died. It is just such a weird thing for him to be upset about.

Reaction, Please: 70 (+5) (+5 points because this is quite a big thing)

He notes that even thinking about it “[makes] him feel weak”. Not that he actually felt weak before this, it seems. The self-published edition notes that he drinks some more tea. In both editions, he notes that Saphira has been alone “this whole time”, and he hopes that she is “all right”.

I certainly think she is, given that she was only exhausted and not injured. This comment does not sit quite right with me, I have to say. Why should Saphira not be fine? Because she cannot survive in the wilderness? I think she has more than enough experience with that, so this comes across as somewhat condescending.

Hell-Bound Partners: 166

Gertrude now says that all of Carvahall wants to know what happened. They sent a group to the farm and they found it destroyed. Eragon nods, and notes that he “had expected that”. She says that the barn was burned down, and asks if that is how Garrow was injured. That is a quite good conclusion to come to; she can obviously see that he has burns, and the barn was on fire, so it would make sense if he was hurt there. Leave it to Gertrude to be capable of good logical reasoning.

Eragon says he does not know, as he was not there when it happened. True enough, though not in the way Gertrude expects, of course. Anyway, she says it does not matter, and that it will “all get untangled”. In the self-published edition, she adds that they should not be talking about this until Eragon has more strength.

Here comes another place where the editions have different bits. First the self-published one: Eragon finishes the tea, while Gertrude “quickly [makes] the broth”. Ah, I assume the pot that already hung on the fire was for the broth, then? It is not very clear. While it cooks, Gertrude goes to knit again.

Now the Knopf edition: Here Gertrude resumes knitting “while the soup cook[s]”. I assume we are supposed to infer here that she put it on in the background?

In both editions, Gertrude keeps knitting for a while. Then she says that he has “quite a scar” on his palm. Ah well, that was bound to happen in this case. Brom has seen it too, so it does not matter all that much, either.

Eragon “reflexively” clenches his hand, and he says he knows. In the self-published edition, he even “hunch[es] under the blanket”. Great way not to look suspicious, Eragon. Gertrude asks how he got it. Eragon comes up with several answers, and decides to choose the simplest one. The self-published edition has this as a dialogue tag.

This “simplest explanation” is that he has had the scar for as long as he can remember, and he never asked Garrow where it came from. … Yes, Eragon, please go for the explanation that is very easy to falsify, given that I am certain some of the other villagers have seen his hands before now. Gertrude might even know this.

Ill Logic: 137

Allow me to come up with a better story: When Eragon brought the stone back from their visit to Carvahall, he held it in his hands for a while to admire it. He discovered, however, that the stone had magical properties which made it stick to his hands. He got his left hand free without trouble, but he had to tear his right one off, which made him lose his skin on the palm of that one. With Garrow and Roran’s help, he managed to bandage it, and it has healed reasonably well, though there is still a scar. They have thrown the stone in the Anora River, so no one else will be hurt by it.

It is far from perfect, but it can stand scrutiny for a little longer than Eragon’s story can. It also makes more sense than “I have never asked Garrow where it came from”.

Gertrude does not seem entirely convinced by Eragon’s explanation, but she does not pursue it. There is silence until the broth/soup reaches “a rolling boil”. I had to look that up, and it means that large bubbles form on the surface, which indicates it is near 100 °C. She pours it into a bowl, and gives it to Eragon “with a spoon”. He accepts “gratefully” and takes a sip. “It was delicious”. Well, good to see he has the sense not to pour everything down.

Now there is a bit of the self-published edition that was outright deleted in the revision, so let us look at that.

Eragon asks why Gertrude is not with Garrow if he is doing so bad. Gertrude pushes some of her “gray hair” back (I never imagined her with gray hair… Then she is probably older than I expected), and says she needed rest, as caring for both of them was quite taxing. Elain and Katrina are watching Garrow, and she has told them what to do and where to find her in case of emergency. She picks up “her shawl and a small purse”, and makes to leave.

She says it is time she saw him again, and she tells Eragon to rest for a bit once he is done with the broth. If he feels well when she is back, he can have “heartier food”. She leaves, “letting in a beam of noon sunshine”, which leaves afterimages in Eragon’s eyes. How dark is this hut, then?

He “gulp[s] down the rest of the broth” (what did I just say?), and sets the bowl on the floor. With his hunger sated, he lies down and closes his eyes. He is overwhelmed by “[c]oncern for Garrow”, and it is difficult for him to “calm himself and turn his mind to other things.”

And why does he want to do this, actually? I mean, I can see why he might want to think about more pleasant things, especially since he cannot do anything to change it, but something in the wording gives me the idea that this is something that he is expected to do… I am probably picking up on something that is not there, but I do have the idea I am missing something here.

Eragon has another thinking session. He says that “[if they] get help”, the house can be rebuilt within “a few weeks”. And why is that an “if”? Does he truly think that the other people from Carvahall would not help them?? That is probably Garrow’s influence again. He truly is The Worst.

He says that the barn will not be hard to repair, and they can also make another wagon while they are busy. And if “any of the animals survived”, they will have to be tracked down. He thinks that he can do that. Not that we will ever find out if there any have survived, but, as Fumurti said, that is a matter for next book.

While he thinks this over, “the soft bed and warm food” lull him into sleep. And here I want to break for the time being. This document is already longer than the entire chapter, after all.

Next time, we will see how Garrow is doing. Until then!