I Read What?!

So last time, our heroes made their way into the city. Drizzt and Bruenor go off to do the actual information gathering, leaving behind the only character who has any real knowledge of how to navigate a city to try to manage a seven foot tall teenager who's never been anywhere with a population over forty. Yeah, this is going to go well.



So we join Regis and Wulfgar at the Cutlass, which has been getting busier. Regis notes trouble immediately when a woman starts approaching the table. Given that this is only the third woman ever in the series to get a speaking line, I can see why Regis is nervous. He notes that she's haggard and not young, but wearing a very revealing gown that "hid all her physical flaws behind a barrage of suggestions."

Wow, that seemed like an unnecessarily harsh description of someone just trying to ply her trade, Regis. Wulfgar, on the otherhand, is pretty mesmerized.

She zeroes in on Wulfgar. She greets him as "big man" and notes that he's not from Luskan and asks where he's from.

Regis thinks that he "hasn't seen such boldness in a woman since his years in Calimport", which, really dude, she just sat down and made conversation. He felt like he should intervene as "[t]here was something wicked about such women, a perversion of pleasure that was too extraordinary. Forbidden fruit made easy."

What the fuck, Regis?!

He notes that Wulfgar would be no match for the wiles of this creature.

Seriously? The worst thing Wulfgar is in danger of is spending too much money. I mean, this is the kind of fantasy realm with a temples full of divine-powered healers on every corner, so he's not even in danger of a sexually transmitted disease.

And this is a fine moral tirade from a fucking thief.

Anyway, Regis lies to her that they have no coin left. The woman gives Wulfgar another look and then says it's a pity. She gets up to leave, to Wulfgar's embarrassment. Aw. Honey. You're fine.

And then Regis crosses a FUCKING LINE.

Something stirred in Regis, as well. A longing for the old days, running in Calimport's bowery, tugged at his heart beyond his strength to resist. As the woman started past him, he grabbed her elbow. "Not a coin," he explained to her inquiring face, "but this." He pulled the ruby pendant out from under his coat and set it dangling at the end of its chain. The sparkles caught the woman's greedy eye at once and the magical gemstone sucked her into its hypnotic entrancement. She sat down again, this time in the chair closest to Regis, her eyes never leaving the, depths of the wondrous, spinning ruby.

Only confusion prevented Wulfgar from erupting in outrage at the betrayal, the blur of thoughts and emotions in his mind showing themselves as no more than a blank stare.
Regis caught the barbarian's look, but shrugged it away with his typical penchant for dismissing negative emotions, such as guilt. Let the morrow's dawn expose his ploy for what it was; the conclusion did not diminish his ability to enjoy this night. "Luskan's night bears a chill wind," he said to the woman.

She put a hand on his arm. "We'll find you a warm bed, have no fear."

The halfling's smile nearly took in his ears.

Wulfgar had to catch himself from falling off of his chair.

1. WHAT THE FUCK?!

2. Regis, you were JUST attacking this woman's profession for the whole "Forbidden fruit made easy" bullshit you invented three seconds ago.

3. WHAT THE FUCK?!

4. I'm going to forgive Wulfgar for not understand the ramifications of what Regis is doing, because he is very young and inexperienced. But seriously?!

5. WHAT THE FUCK?! USING MIND CONTROL TO COMPEL A SEX WORKER TO GIVE YOU SEX FOR FREE IS FUCKING RAPE!

6. Also, does this mean you're leaving your inexperienced teenaged friend alone in a seedy tavern while you RAPE THIS WOMAN?!

In conclusion: WHAT THE FUCK.

So now that suddenly Regis is a rapist, we join Bruenor and Drizzt. Bruenor is stunned that Whisper is a woman, but regains his composure quickly because he doesn't want to offend her or give away his surprise, since that gives her an advantage. But she sees through him and smiles. Bruenor notes that selling information in Luskan's dockside meant that Whisper would have constantly dealt with murderers and thieves. And that few would have been able to hide their "obvious surprise" at finding a "young and alluring" woman practicing the trade.

Bruenor decides that his respect is not diminished though, as her reputation had traveled across hundreds of miles and she's still alive. Yay?

Drizzt, on the other hand, is considerably less taken aback. Of course he is. However, this is primarily because in dark elf society, "females normally held higher stations than males, and were often more deadly." Have I mentioned yet how I think the Forgotten Realms take on drow are really fucking misogynistic? Just checking.

So anyway, Bruenor's here to ask about a map of the North, one that goes from sea to desert and rightly names the places in the languages of the races that live there. She notes that it will cost a lot of money, and Bruenor tosses her a pouch of gems with some ill grace as he is "never pleased to be relieved of money".

Whisper goes off to get the map, and her dramatic entrance (basically just disappearing in a gust of fog) gets Bruenor's temper up. He fears "sorcerous treachery", and I'm starting to think Wulfgar's anti magic bigotry may be as much from Bruenor as his own people. Drizzt calms him down and points out the sewer drain that she probably exited.

...and so what if she had been magic, Bruenor? You're in the fucking Forgotten Realms. You can't sneeze without tripping over Elminster, Khelben, one of those fucking Harpell douchebags, or any of Ed Greenwood's bizarre author appeal goddess women.

Bruenor notes that Drizzt knows "these kinds" better than he does, which, hi, INSULTING. Drizzt doesn't hang about seedy city underworlds, for a). And b) the people that Drizzt "knows better" are genocidal maniacs. So thanks for insulting both Drizzt and Whisper in one fell swoop. REGIS might have been a better choice here. If he weren't a comic relief rapist.

So anyway, Drizzt answers Bruenor's questions: he doesn't think Whisper's setting them up for murder, but he also figures she won't be striking a fair bargain. Drizzt gets his scimitar ready though, because there are other people in the shadows than just Whisper's minions.

Now we shift back to the tavern, where we're told that "[m]ore eyes than just Wulfgar's had fallen upon the halfling and the woman." GOOD! Let's prevent this rape!

But see, Salvatore apparently doesn't see it this way. He characterizes the "hardy rogues of Luskan's dockside" to be folks who take "great sport in tormenting creatures of less physical stature" and halflings are among their favorite victims.

Good. Regis deserves it.

One notable fellow, "a huge, overstuffed man with furry eyebrows and beard bristles that caught the foam from his ever-full mug" is dominating the conversation at the bar. He catches sight of Regis, his "large, but obviously young friend" and "the spectacle of a halfling wooing the highest priced lady at the cutless".

1. It actually is kind of interesting that this woman that Regis dismissed as being "not young" and "haggard" is actually the highest priced sex worker. I'm kind of wondering how old this woman is now. Because there's a difference between "not young" meaning thirty and "not young" meaning twenty. Regis is already an attempted rapist, I would like him not to be a pedophile.

2. Halflings are often in this weird position in fantasy literature where they're patronized like children and they're gawked at as spectacles whenever they do anything that an adult of any other race would do. It's really insulting. They're another race, they're not children. (I feel like there's an interesting comparison between the treatment of halflings in fantasy and the way some folks treat disabled people in the real world, but I am not educated enough to examine that.)

3. I know I'm supposed to see this guy as a jerk, but REGIS IS TRYING TO RAPE THIS WOMAN.

And honestly, the fact that Salvatore doesn't seem to realize he just made one of his leads a rapist is really fucking disappointing.

So the dude starts shouting taunts at Regis and the lady, calling him "half-a-man". We see more proof of the mind control:

The woman had dealt with this man before and she had seen others fall painfully before him. She tossed him a concerned look, but remained firmly tied to the pull of the ruby pendant.

Yep. Still gross. And dangerous. This woman will have to deal with this man in the future, Regis won't. He could be putting her in danger.

Regis realizes that the real trouble won't be the man, it'll be Wulfgar, who is angry at the taunting. Regis tries to calm him down, but Wulfgar is actually aware of a nuance that Regis isn't:

"Wulfgar didn't relax a bit, his glare never releasing his adversary. He could brush away the fat man's insults, even those cutting at Regis and the woman. But Wulfgar understood the motivation behind those insults. Through exploitation of his less-able friends, Wulfgar was being challenged by the bully. How many others had fallen victim to this hulking slob? he wondered. Perhaps it was time for the fat man to learn some humility.

I like that Wulfgar cares about the woman as well as Regis, and that she falls under friends, plural. I WISH he were aware of what Regis is doing though. Because I do think he'd protest if he understood.

Anyway, the bully comes over, and Regis scans the tavern with some worry. He thinks that there are many who would jump in to help the bully, and then he notices something odd: Jierdan, the gate guard from last chapter, is there too.

But Regis is distracted by the impending fight. Because Wulfgar is "less experienced" and "less wise" (hey, Regis, rapists can shut up about wisdom), he answers the bully's challenge, standing between him and Regis. The bully sizes him up, already reading that Wulfgar won't strike first.

The bully tries to go for Wulfgar's throat, and well, that doesn't go well for him. We get some annoyingly needless praise for Drizzt (since Wulfgar trained with him, of course that's why Wulfgar is a badass). Wulfgar basically groin strikes him, lifts him in the air, and waits patiently for the crowd to attack.

And they do. Though they also fight each other. But the bully's supporters are charging at Wulfgar. He's getting hit as often as he's hitting others, but taking it stoically.

Regis is sitting under the table, watching the action and sipping his drink. Even the barmaids are getting into the fight. Jierdan is the only person in the tavern NOT in the fight. Instead, he's watching Wulfgar, measuringly.

The fight continues, turning nasty when someone pulls a blade. Wulfgar ends up slamming that dude's head through the wooden planks of a wall, and leaving him dangling with his feet a foot above the floor. The violence continues and we change scenes again.

Back to Bruenor and Drizzt. Whisper is returning, having been gone for about half an hour. She has the map, but wants ten times more than what's offered. Drizzt and Bruenor confab: Whisper has figured out who they are and how much they're able to pay. Drizzt believes that the map she has is genuine, and Bruenor notes he could pay the new price, but they're going to need that money for the trip.

So Drizzt, (with a "fiery gleam that flared up in the drow's lavender eyes") tells her that they'd struck a fair deal, and that's what they'll honor.

Whisper's got a dagger now, which both adventurers note. Bruenor approaches, his arms empty and outstretched, seemingly agreeing to pay, while Drizzt tries to get a closer look at the walls.

Whisper lets Bruenor in close, figuring she can stab him. Bruenor's too fast for her, and headbutts her, "splattering her nose and knocking her head into the wall". He drops the original purse on her and grabs the map. Drizzt, for his part, calls down a globe of darkness, to block the sight of the crossbowmen. Reinforcements come in through the cracks in the walls that Drizzt noted, but he's ready, using the blunt sides of his scimitar to knock them out. They use Guen to get past the blocked off alley. Bruenor is not all that grateful to the cat though.

They get back to the Cutlass, where Regis and Wulfgar are outside. Regis is unharmed. Wulfgar's face is puffy and bruised. Bruenor goes in to look, and:

Bruenor's shock was complete when he opened the tavern door. Tables, glass, and unconscious patrons lay broken all about the floor. The innkeeper slumped over one part of the shattered bar, a barmaid wrapping his bloodied head in bandages. The man Wulfgar had implanted into the wall still hung limply by the back of his head, groaning softly, and Bruenor couldn't help but chuckle at the handiwork of the mighty barbarian. Every now and then, one of the barmaids, passing by the man as she cleaned, gave him a little push, taking amusement at his swaying.

Hee. Destruction. But what happened to the sex worker in the commotion? Salvatore, you were already willing to let Regis rape this woman. Now her fate doesn't even matter? That's not a great look for you.

They discuss the fight, and Regis brings up Jierdan. Drizzt notes "for the third time" that it's time to go. They're going over the wall rather than through the gates, and Regis lists their accomplishments:

Regis summed up their thoughts, saying, "Our first night in our first city, and we've betrayed killers, fought down a host of ruffians, and caught the attention of the city guard.

An auspicious beginning to our journey!"

Yep. You also tried to rape a woman, while Drizzt and Bruenor robbed another. Sure, Whisper wasn't playing fair, but she had new information. Helping Drizzt and Bruenor could well put her in additional danger that she hadn't counted on during their original negotiation. She has the right to raise her price. I know we're supposed to be cheering for the heroes, but that's really fucking hard right now.

What exactly makes this band of rapist and robbers more worthy of success than any of the people they fight?

At least Wulfgar is still honorable, even if that trait is already starting to turn into a joke. HIS actions were motivated by a desire to protect. Until Salvatore ruins him too.