I Read What?!

So last time, we had Drizzt and Wulfgar hanging out on the Sea Sprite, while the villains plotted. Hopefully that means will get some action soon.

Some nice, hard to recap effectively, action. Oh dear.



Or maybe not, as we start with a very brief segment about a halfling who is being lowered into boiling liquid. It's all very cryptic and weirdly described. And we soon realize why: it's actually Bruenor's nightmare. Aw.

Right now, he's in the Ivy Mansion, resting comfortably. He's been having nightmares for a while though. For some reason, Mr. Salvatore gives us an inventory of Bruenor's stuff: his mithril armor, golden shield, axe, Drizzt's scimitar and two helmets, one of which being the crown of Mithril Hall.

Bruenor is still discomfited:

Bruenor's birthright demanded that he lead the armies and retake Mithril Hall, that he sit in the throne he had been born to possess.

But it was in the very chambers of the ancient dwarven homeland that Bruenor Battlehammer had realized the truth of what was important to him. Over the course of the last decade, four very special companions had come into his life, not one of them a dwarf.

The friendship the five had forged was bigger than a dwarven kingdom and more precious to Bruenor than all the mithril in the world. The realization of his fantasy conquest seemed empty to him.

I wish it didn't sound like a Disney moral here. I mean, I appreciate the thought, but I wish it weren't quite so heavy handed. Also, why doesn't Bruenor have any loved ones who are dwarves? He's the king of a settlement after all! Surely he has siblings, cousins, ex-lovers, SOMETHING. Friends? Advisors?

The fact that Bruenor's closest friends are his human adopted kids, a drow and a halfling are an interesting character beat if it didn't seem like they're his only friends solely because his author didn't feel like fleshing out Bruenor's life outside of the group.

Anyway, Catti-brie joins him, asking if he's had another nightmare. Bruenor vents that he should be with Regis, or at least helping to look for them. Catti-brie reminds him that his kingdom awaits. And I wonder: who is Bruenor's heir? Catti-brie is his adopted daughter, but she's human. As a king, he must have some heir, even if it's just a distant relative.

There's more heavy handed stuff in which both Bruenor and Catti-brie acknowledge that he values his dented battle helmet far more than the crown of Mithril Hall. Anyway, the Mithril Hall battle will be some months away yet, and Bruenor and Catti-brie speculate on whether the guys will make it back in time to join in. This leads Bruenor to a determination, and he goes to Harkle to ask if Harkle can create a chariot like Alustriel had.

Short answer: no. Alustriel is Ed Greenwood's pet demi-goddess. Harkle is a comic relief wizard who is lucky not to accidently magic his eyeballs into his ass. BUT, happily for Bruenor, Alustriel is still here. Bruenor barges his way in:

Abruptly awakened in the night, the Lady Alustriel appeared no less beautiful, her silvery mane somehow mystically connected to the soft glow of the evening. Bruenor composed himself when he saw the lady, remembering her station and his manners.

I do love flowery language. Anyway, she's polite and amused, noting that she'd have come to see him to say goodbye before she left. (...how long has she been here? From what Bruenor and Catti-brie said, he's had time to have many nightmares...)

So anyway, they discuss:

"I need another one of them chariots," said Bruenor. "To take me to the south."

"You mean to catch your friends and aid in the search for the halfling," Alustriel reasoned.

"Aye, I know me place."

"But I cannot accompany you," Alustriel said. "I have a realm to rule; it is not my place to journey unannounced to other kingdoms."

"I wouldn't be askin' ye to go," replied Bruenor.

"Then who will drive the team? You have no experience with such magic."

Bruenor thought for just a moment. "Harkle'll take me!" he blurted.

Alustriel couldn't hide a smirk as she thought of the possibilities for disaster. Harkle, like so many of his Harpell kin, usually hurt himself when spellcasting.

...okay, dude. You know I hate the Harpells more than anything. So I can't believe I'm saying this. But stop being dicks to Harkle! He's been your host, and has helped out many times so far without asking for anything in return. You could at least do him the courtesy of ASKING if he'll be willing to drive Bruenor. And not just laugh at his clumsiness. Not everyone can be the ultra powerful Chosen of the Goddess of Magic herself, Alustriel.

Ugh. I feel filthy.

Anyway, we scene jump to predawn. Happily, we're told that Harkle had eagerly agreed to the journey as he'd always wanted a chance to drive one of Alustriel's chariots. The narrative still can't help but make a joke of him though, as we're told that he "seem[s] out of place next to the battle-charged dwarf, though, wearing his wizard's robe - tucked into leather hip boots - and an oddly shaped silver helmet with fluffy white fur wings and a visor that kept flopping down over his eyes."

Alustriel, being noble and irritating, of course didn't go back to sleep. Instead she has been searching for Drizzt and company through a crystal ball that the Harpells provided (you're fucking welcome, lady). She's learned much about their whereabouts, and has even gotten Morkai to help.

So she tells them that our gang is at sea and gives Bruenor a locket with a picture of Drizzt inside. God knows were she got that. But okay, fine. Magic. Still weird though.

"The locket will warm when you approach the ship that carries your friends," Alustriel said. "I created it many weeks ago, that I might have known if your group approached Silverymoon on your return from Mithril Hall." She avoided Bruenor's probing gaze, knowing the myriad of questions that must have been going through the dwarf's mind.

Quietly, almost as if embarrassed, she added, "I should like it returned."

Bruenor kept his sly remarks to himself. He knew of the growing connection between Lady Alustriel and Drizzt. It became clearer and clearer every day. "Ye'll get it back," he assured her. He scooped the locket up in his fist and moved to join Harkle.

Oh well, maybe their mix of obnoxious personality and narrative favoritism will cancel each other out.

But oh hey! Catti-brie's here, dressed for the road and with her cool magic bow. She's a bit annoyed that they were going to leave without telling her.

Bruenor couldn't look her in the eye. He had indeed meant to leave without so much as a good-bye to his daughter. "Bah!" he snorted. "Ye'd have only tried to stop me going!"

"Never I would!" Catti-brie growled right back at him. "Me thinkin's that yer doing right.

But ye'd do righter if ye'd move over and make room for me!"

Bruenor shook his head emphatically.

"I've as much the right as yerself!" Catti-brie protested.

"Bah!" Bruenor snorted again. "Drizzt and Rumblebelly are me truest friends!"

"And mine!"

And Wulfgar's been akin to a son to me!" Bruenor shot back, thinking he had won the round.

"And a might bit more than that to me," Catti-brie retorted, "if he gets back from the South!" Catti-brie didn't even need to remind Bruenor that she had been the one who introduced him to Drizzt. She had defeated all of the dwarf's arguments. "Move aside, Bruenor Battlehammer, and make room! I've as much at stake as yerself, and I'm meaning to come along!"

I feel like this alleged bond between Catti-brie and the others would be a lot stronger if we'd gotten to see literally any interaction between them aside from like three scenes in the last book. Also, this is the first time that we've heard that Catti-brie introduced Drizzt and Bruenor. This sort of thing would work better if we'd seen Catti-brie and Drizzt exchange even a word to each other.

That said, if Catti-brie's tired of being sidelined into the C plot, I can't blame her.

So they're leaving the Harpells to put up the returning armies. (You're WELCOME), and Alustriel can show them the way to Mithril Hall if both Bruenor and Catti-brie fail to return. They agree, but not without being dicks again:

Bruenor glanced casually at Harkle and immediately saw the young woman's logic. The wizard stood at the reins of the chariot, trying to find some way to keep the visor of his helmet up on his brow. Finally Harkle gave up and just tilted his head back far enough so he could see under the visor.

"Here, ye dropped a piece of it," Bruenor said to him. "That's why it won't stay up!"

Harkle turned and saw Bruenor pointing to the ground off the back of the chariot. He shuffled around beside Bruenor and bent over, trying to see what the dwarf was pointing at.

As Harkle bent to look, the weight of his silver helmet - which actually belonged to a cousin much large than he - toppled him over and left him sprawled face down on the lawn.

In the same moment, Bruenor swept Catti-brie into the chariot beside him.

Oh, drats!" Harkle whined. "I would have so loved to go!"

1. Wow, you guys are assholes.

2. Wasn't Harkle supposed to drive the chariot? Wasn't that why Bruenor volunteered him? Now all of a sudden Bruenor's fine with guiding the chariot. Even though he's neither a wizard nor remotely familiar with that craft.

They fly off. There's a kind of amusing interlude when they fly past a very bemused silver dragon. They never see it though, so it's inherently pointless.

They keep flying, Bruenor keeping them low so that they can find the ship. They find A ship at least:

But then they did see a ship. Not the ship, but a ship nonetheless, looming up in the mist barely thirty yards ahead.

Catti-brie screamed - Bruenor did, too - and the dwarf fell back with the reins, forcing the chariot upward at as steep an angle as possible. The ship's deck rolled out below them.

And the masts still towered above them!

If all the ghosts of every sailor who had ever died on the sea had risen from their watery graves and sought vengeance on this particular vessel, the lookout's face would not have held a truer expression of terror. Possibly he leaped from his perch - more likely he toppled in fright - but either way, he missed the deck and dropped safely into the water at the very last second before the chariot streaked past his crow's nest and nipped the top of the mainmast.

Catti-brie and Bruenor composed themselves and looked back to see the tip of the ship's mast burning like a single candle in the gray mist.

And with that moment of hilarious dickish incompetence, the chapter ends.