I Read What?!

Chapter Sixteen (Part I) | Table of Contents | Chapter Sixteen (Part III)

Fumurti: Hello everyone, and welcome back to Eragon! Before we begin, I would like to show off a special guest: the NRSG!

(the NRSG comes in. They are an anthro green parakeet wearing a robe the colour of their feathers)

NRSG: (waves) Hello there, people! For those who do not know me, I am currently busy with BattleAxe and since I revised the counts over there, it only seemed nice to help out here, too.

So, after some thought, I thought it best to get rid of these counts:

Bullyay

Murdered by the Convocation

Manual Patch Job

Some Teacher You Are

Sparkly Damsel

ASWLT

With Leaders Like These…

Alagaësia Is Not the World

Read the Discussion Boards

Dead Herrings

Drop It Like It’s Hot

Paoclichés

Thanks for Explaining

Reaction, Please

But Thou Must

This Cannot Be

Is that fine so far?

Fumurti: No problem.

NRSG: Then I would like to rename Just Drink the Poison to Healthy Like Arsenic, FYRS to FYRP, What is Even Going On Here? to And All the World a Dream, and Best Partners Ever to Just Break Up Already.

Also, do we still need Look Away and This Is Fine?

Fumurti: Not per se.

NRSG: Then let me set about installing the new counts.

The first one is It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not (credit goes to Lady_Fofa for that)

This count will go for times Paolini gets things flat-out wrong.

1 point for Eragon’s legs,

1 for Saphira’s supposed growth spurt,

1 for Saphira sitting on Eragon’s bedpost,

1 for Carvahall being mentioned to be “this far north”,

1 for Eragon being able to keep all his food in in chapter 12,

1 for the local fauna not reacting to Saphira’s presence,

1 for the “life is in stasis at night” comment in chapter 13,

1 for Saphira only breaking off a little bit of her egg at first while hatching,

1 for the ox hides,

1 for the description of the farm,

1 for the “sausages” from chapter 5,

1 for Saphira supposedly snapping twigs with her “hard scales”,

1 for Zar’roc being “rather heavy”,

1 for Eragon and Brom being able to see by the light of the fireplace,

1 for Brom being able to make a saddle without much tools,

4 for the “information” on dragons earlier.

It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 19

Then For the Good of the Cause for awful behaviour that is excused because of that reason.

1 point for Eragon yelling at Saphira to try to calm her down, 1 point for trying to invade her mind, 2 points for the bullying later on.

For the Good of the Cause: 4

Then we have… Angela, for reasons that make no sense as of yet.

Then A Murder In Your Future, for this series’ troubled relationship with corvids.

Also Like Coins Bounced off A Drum, for the bad similes and description.

And finally Thou Art Well Come for the times when Paolini goes overly archaic. I will give that 2 points for Saphira’s speech to Eragon in chapter 14.

Thou Art Well Come: 2

Well, that is that! Back to you, then! (leaves)

Fumurti: Well, that was certainly nice. Now for the reader post:

On part III of chapter 6, Chessy points out that there’s no reason colourful dragons couldn’t exist before the Riders came along. Yeah, that certainly makes more sense than that they were made like that by the Riders… Kerlois thinks that this might have been a beauty ideal of the dragons themselves, which makes quite a bit of sense.

Interesting to see how they assumed that the dragons could not have come up with that themselves, too… A good reminder to keep an open mind, I’d say.

She also supplies the term “unbound dragons” instead of “wild dragons”, which I think I’ll be using, along with “bound dragons” instead of “Rider dragons”.

And, of course, there is her fic (with Umbrares playing with children!).

Tris notes that Brom’s story assumes that most of the dragons had no will of their own in the conflict.. After all, he only mentions the dragons of the Forsworn.

What Dragons?: 301

Art_Case also has Brom get smacked.

On chapter 7, Tris also occurs on what Kerlois thought in chapter 8: that Eragon does not want Roran to leave because that would mean he would be left alone with Garrow.

Chessy notes that “Medieval millers do not appear to be noted for hand injuries, and in fact used hoppers to feed grain between the millstones and levers to adjust them.” She also says that the apparent indifference to such injuries does not exactly fit the time period; I was rather thinking of the Industrial Revolution myself.

It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 20

And there is her fic, of course.

On that chapter, I would also like to give this for Eragon never thinking to give Saphira any names outside those of famous dragons:

Stick the Dogma Over Facts: 2

Finally, on part I of chapter 16, Epistler rightly points out that it makes little sense for Brom not to have taken the sword of another Rider besides Morzan.

Ill Logic: 251

Oh, and there’s more!

On chapter 8, Tris, Chessy and Maegwin deconstruct the claim of “incestuousness” that Kerlois made, as they point out that it is likely that Eragon does not want to be left alone with Garrow. (And I see that Kerlois joined in on that, too. Not a bad attitude to have, I’d say.)

Tris also comes with a quite clear description of Eragon and Saphira’s relationship:

“She could teach him, but he doesn't ask. He doesn't ask, because she won't tell him there's anything to ask for. And their communication skills do not once improve throughout the series.”

Chessy also points out that she spent most of her early life abandoned, and Eragon only tried to communicate with her once she spoke human language. And Eragon himself has had a quite difficult childhood himself, so, as she says, the relationship was doomed from the start.

They truly would be better off if they went their own way, I think. What a pity that the idea never even comes up…

Well, Chessy points out that it is “borderline child abuse” at best for Eragon to saddle Saphira with his issues. Yes, if he were doing this with Birka or Brugh it would be fine, but Saphira can understand his issues and she is still a child! And of course this will never be addressed!

Just Break Up Already: 234 (+20)

It does explain a lot of her behaviour in this book, come to think of it… Bleh, it’s still worse than I thought.

Chessy and Tris also point out that Eragon’s assertion that she is “like any person” implies that she is not a person herself.

Just Break Up Already: 235

And there is, of course, Chessy’s fic.

Regarding the “ancestral memory”, Kerlois also thinks that it might be something that was woven into the spell that made the Riders. I like that, as it fits with the elves not having anything of the kind, while they do have, for example, the longevity of the dragons.

Finally, she points out that Paolini neglects to mention how Garrow, who absolutely refuses charity, manages to get clothing for his family. Good point!

It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 21

With that done, let me resume! Fair warning, this part sucks.

Content Warning: Child abuse, fat-shaming.

We last left off with Eragon leaning against Saphira while they were sitting around the campfire. Brom is on the other side of the fire, “whittling two long sticks”. And where did he get those? Did he pick them up while they were underway? I guess that must be it… I just wish there was a better sense of where things are coming from.

Suddenly, he throws one at Eragon, “who grab[s] it out of reflex as it whirl[s] over the crackling flames”. (It begins…) Why was this necessary, Brom?! If Eragon hadn’t grabbed it, if he, for example, was still talking with Saphira, he might well have gotten hurt! If you want to throw it to him (which I still don’t think is the best way to do this) then at least warn him!

Then Brom does this:

“Defend yourself!” barked Brom, standing.

1: So yes, Brom wants to hold a fight with Eragon. Then it just might have been nice to announce that in advance, so Eragon could actually prepare. But nooooo, Brom does not do such nice things.

2: Also, why hold this fight now? It’s late in the day, and especially given that both of them are still hurt, I doubt they’d be as alert as earlier on the day. What would be the trouble in holding this the next morning?

Ill Logic: 252

I think that’s something we’ll be coming back to quite often.

3: Why is Brom “barking” this at Eragon? There is no reason for him to do so, and it just makes him look bad.

4: What great advice Brom is giving to Eragon! Like, how is Eragon supposed to know what to do from “defend yourself”?

What a great beginning of this scene. Well, Eragon looks at the stick he is holding and sees it is “shaped in the crude likeness of a sword.”

First, this:

I Need A Sword!: 1

And those are the counts for the rest of this venture.

Now for the problem this addresses. This series has a quite… disproportionate focus on swords and swordfighting. I don’t mind having swords play a role at all, but this series insists on giving swords as big a role as magic and on claiming that they are both as good for fighting. The problem with that is that the magic system in this series is much more effective then swords, so it doesn’t make very much sense.

Also, this will warp the plot of Brisingr out of shape, because of how much of the book is dominated by Eragon searching for a sword. Well, I guess you’ll see eventually, because I’m not doing a great job of this.

I will give 1 point for the very extensive description of Zar’roc and 5 points for every Rider having a sword.

I Need A Sword!: 7

I don’t mind Brom trying to teach Eragon how to fight with a sword yet. After all, it will give Eragon a means to fight with.

What I do take issue with is how Brom wants to teach him. Why are they using wooden sticks instead of their actual swords? How will that teach Eragon how to fight with a sword? The two will be quite different, after all.

Ill Logic: 253

And yet he will only switch over to actual swords nineteen days later. I get the impression that Paolini thought that training with sticks or with swords is equivalent, when it really isn’t.

It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 22

True, as Eragon says later, one might object that going in with their swords would be too dangerous. The thing with that is that Brom knows a spell to blunt their swords, so they would be able to fight a lot easier. So I guess that that’s why Brom goes for sticks rather than swords: because he’s still very attached to not letting Eragon know he can use magic.

But that is, of course, only a problem because Brom thinks that his “teaching” Eragon should consist solely of swordfights. And that is a problem because that is not a good way to teach this at all! Eragon doesn’t know how to do this at all; he might pick some techniques up, but he will still fundamentally not understand how it works, and that will put him at a disadvantage against people who do know it.

What Brom ought to do is to learn Eragon how to handle Zar’roc and just how to use a sword in general. That also wouldn’t require any kind of magic, either!

But of course nothing of this will ever come up.

Ill Logic: 258 (+5)

Anyway. Eragon deduces that Brom wants to fight him and wonders what chance “the old man [stands]”. He thinks that if Brom “wants to play this game, so be it”, but if he thinks to beat Eragon, he will be “in for a surprise”.

And where is this attitude coming from? Why does Eragon think he will be much better at something he has never done before than Brom? This is just quite poor writing.

PPP: 724

I also note that Saphira is noticeably absent during the next scene, even though she should have every reason to intervene and she is literally right there.

PPP: 729 (+5)

What Dragons?: 302

Well, Eragon gets up as Brom “circle[s] the fire”. They face each other for a moment, and then Brom charges, “swinging his stick”. Eragon tries to block, but is not fast enough, because this is literally his first time doing this. So Brom hits him “on the ribs”, causing him to yelp and “stumble[] backwards”.

So Brom has already hurt Eragon, while noticeably giving no indication that this was something he would do, so Eragon could not possibly have agreed to this. But hey, it is for the good of Eragon’s training!

For the Good of the Cause: 5

Also, if Eragon “stumbles backwards”, shouldn’t he trip over Saphira, considering that he only “got up”? No points, because it’s conceivable he might have turned away from her, but it’s still off.

Eragon lunges forward “[w]ithout thinking”, and Brom parries the blow easily. Then why is this a duel again? You shouldn’t treat Eragon like an opponent, Brom! You have so much more experience that he will never be relevant!

Eragon then whips his stack toward “Brom’s head”, then twists it “at the last moment” and tries to hit his side instead. Brom parries, or so I guess, as we’re told that “[t]he solid smack of wood striking wood” sounds through the camp. Nice of you to put in some sound description, Paolini, but that does not have to exclude a description of the parry.

Hmmm, I think it might be a good idea to go bit-by-bit from here on out. There we go:

“Improvisation—good!” exclaimed Brom, eyes gleaming.

What is this em-dash doing here?! Why do we need “exclaimed” here? And why is Brom saying “improvisation”? Eragon has been doing that since you started! You must mean “feint”, so use that!

PPP: 731

Let me try this…

“A feint! Good!” Brom said, eyes gleaming.

How hard was this?

His arm moved in a blur and there was an explosion of pain on the side of Eragon’s head. He collapsed like an empty sack, unconscious.

That went wrong very fast. What, did Brom want to practice the move the Ra’zac tried on him? More seriously, I guess that he wanted to “defeat” Eragon, which might have been fine with an actual opponent. But Eragon is his trainee, not his opponent.

This is simply not how you ever treat someone you train, ever. He knocked Eragon out with a blow to the head! This ought to give him a concussion, with possibly lifelong damage! You just do not do something like that, and it seriously makes me doubt how much Brom actually cares about Eragon if he’s willing to hurt him like this.

For the Good of the Cause: 5

What gets me even more is that Brom has had the exact same thing done to him only days ago! He knows what it is like and he still thinks this is appropriate?! Gah!

I think I can safely say that he isn’t suited to train anyone at all, and after the nonsense he spewed in part I of this chapter, I don’t think he should be a teacher at all.

~~~

A splash of cold water woke him, and he sat up, sputtering.

1: As we’ll soon see, this water came from snow that Brom melted over the fire. So I guess that Eragon lay unconscious for at least a few minutes. And in that time, Saphira apparently did nothing. She didn’t say or do anything to Brom for knocking Eragon unconscious, and she didn’t attempt to wake Eragon or anything of the sort. I don’t care that he’s been quite awful to her; the least she could do is make sure he regains consciousness again!

Just Break Up Already: 240 (+5)

And Brom noticeably took his time in getting this water properly warmed up. I really don’t get the feeling he understands the severity of this.

2: Yes, of course it only takes a splash of water to wake him!

Knock Yourself Out, It’s Fine: 3

What bothers me the most, though, is that it seems like a way to make Brom seem less bad. Like “Brom didn’t actually hurt Eragon permanently, so it’s not all that bad!” The problem with that is that he still knocked Eragon out, which is still bad and still something he should not have done! It’s not as bad as it ought to have been, but it’s still not good!

History-Rewriting Narrator: 56

I don’t think Paolini meant this, but it certainly comes across like it.

His head was ringing, and there was dried blood on his face. Brom stood over him with a pan of melted snow water.

Case in point. Yes, this was certainly completely harmless.

I do wonder… would the blood be dry so quickly? I doubt that it took more than a few minutes for Brom to melt the water, and I see that blood generally takes a lot longer than that to be completely dry. So this is nonsense, once again.

It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 23

Oops, I see that I accidentally skimmed over the Knopf edition. There, Eragon is only “dazed” and the splash “rouse[s] him to alertness”. So it’s a quite clear attempt to make Brom seem less bad.

Unfortunately, I don’t buy it. One, if he’s only “dazed”, why doesn’t he feel any pain from his head? And I don’t think he’s merely “not alert”; he still must have lain there for some time, and if he was only dazed, why didn’t Brom shake him awake? Also, Eragon doesn’t register anything from the time in between. That’s not “dazed”; that’s unconscious.

So I think I will give it this:

History-Rewriting Narrator: 57

Because that is what it is: a clumsy attempt to overwrite what was originally there, and so we end up with Paolini pretending that unconsciousness is just “dazedness”.

PPP: 730

Finally, where does the pan come from? I guess it might be from the farm, but it would have been nice to have a mention of it existing before now.

“You didn’t have to do that,” said Eragon angrily, pushing himself up. He felt dizzy and unsteady.

But that’s not a sign of injury at all! Come to think of it, the dried blood simply disappears into the ether after this.

PPP: 731

This is just such poor continuity! That aside, I completely agree with Eragon and I’m quite glad to see him angry at this.

~~~

Brom arched an eyebrow. “Oh? A real enemy wouldn’t soften his blows, and neither will I.

Well, then I guess you are a real enemy.

Just look at this. Eragon has only just woken up again, and Brom has no concern for him. How is he supposed to be a loving parent, again?

As for what he says… yes, a real enemy would not soften their blows—

No-Wave Feminism: 60

—but that has no bearing on what you’re doing! You can only begin to duel in the first place once you’re sure that Eragon knows what he’s doing! And you first make sure that he can fend off the blows! Of course, all that is irrelevant, because you’re training him, not duelling him!

And also note there’s no apology from him. He apparently thinks he’s completely justified in doing this, and while I think he might want to duel Eragon earlier, by now I get the feeling that he just wants to beat Eragon up. It’s supposed to be for the good of the training, though!

For the Good of the Cause: 6

Should I pander to your… incompetence so you’ll feel better? I don’t think so.”

This is not a duel, Brom! And even if it were, this would still be the point where the opponent breaks it off, because this is just very rude.

Here, it’s of course much worse. Of course Eragon is “incompetent”, you dunce! He’s never been taught before! What, should he have ancestral memories of swordfighting, like Saphira does? And that’s also no fault of his, Brom, no matter what you may seem to imply. He’s lived his entire life on a farm! Why should he know this??

Also, considering someone’s level of prior knowledge when teaching them is not “pandering to their ego”! It’s a necessary step of even beginning to teach someone! And where in the world are you getting it from that Eragon wants to “feel better about his incompetence”?? He just doesn’t want to be beaten up! You’re just lying to his face about his own motivations.

Finally, if you don’t want to change that, then you are indeed Eragon’s enemy.

He picked up the stick that Eragon had dropped and held it out. “Now, defend yourself.”

And what if Eragon doesn’t want to? What, will you invade his mind to make him do so? Oh right, that would mess up your ~secrecy~.

I mean, what right does Brom have to demand this of Eragon? None at all. If Eragon doesn’t want to, Brom simply should respect that. And if Eragon really doesn’t want to, he could climb on Saphira and they could fly away.

For the Good of the Cause: 7

~~~

Eragon stared blankly at the piece of wood, then shook his head. “Forget it; I’ve had enough.”

And that’s it, then. Eragon has said he does not want to continue, so Brom should stop. And even if Eragon wanted to continue, Brom should have stopped this anyway. Eragon was just knocked out, after all! He is in no way fit to continue!

Also, I’d really like something stronger from Eragon, but then, I guess he’s not allowed to disagree too much. I hate this.

He turned away and stumbled as he was whacked loudly across the back. He spun around, growling.

How dare you, Brom. You completely ignored what Eragon said, you plan to go duelling with someone who’s had a concussion, and you attacked someone whose back was turned? Shame on you!

Even if this were a duel, attacking someone who has forfeited and whose back is turned is a big no-no. I guess it just goes to show that Brom has no regard for honour at all.

Here, it’s even worse, of course.

1: Eragon didn’t want to go on any longer. You ought to respect that, Brom, and it is wrong not to do so.

2: Eragon has only just woken up again, and he is still dizzy from the blow. It is simply unsafe to hold a fight against him!

For the Good of the Cause: 8

3: He had his back turned! I don’t care what you say, Brom, but this is a training situation and Eragon should be safe to step out of the situation. Not to mention that it’s just a really low blow.

~~~

“Never turn your back to the enemy!” snapped Brom, then tossed the stick at him and attacked.

What, are you angry at Eragon for daring not to want to continue? Is that why you’re attacking him like this now? It certainly seems like it.

Like, Brom, Eragon thought that you would respect him leaving this duel. He didn’t “turn his back to the enemy” and I very much doubt that he would have done so anyway. And even if he did, that might just be because he can’t think clear because you knocked him unconscious. So, Brom, this is all your fault, and you have no right to be angry at Eragon for it.

Also note that he’s again throwing the stick at Eragon, which is still quite irresponsible.

For the Good of the Cause: 9

At this point, I’d like to shove that stick somewhere in Brom.

Eragon retreated around the fire, beneath the onslaught.

Delete that comma, Paolini.

PPP: 732

Well, good to see that Brom is beating Eragon up. Seriously, what is Eragon supposed to learn from this??

“Pull your arms in. Keep your knees bent,” shouted Brom.

I don’t think that will exactly help him, Brom, since he’s much too focussed on not getting beaten by you to learn much of this! Yes, I guess he’ll do what Brom says, but I doubt it will stick around, especially since Brom doesn’t explain any of this. Even if they were regularly training, it would still not help him. Yes, he has to keep his knees bent, but why and in what situation.

Also, I think that Eragon won’t remember much of this, given that he just took a blow to the head. That tends to mess with one’s memory. So you also destroyed your chance at teaching Eragon, Brom!

Ill Logic: 259

He continued to give instructions, then paused to show Eragon exactly how to execute a certain move. “Do it again, but this time slowly!” They slid through the forms with exaggerated motions, then returned to their furious battle.

Why is Brom constantly shouting at Eragon? I guess it’s supposed to be because they’re so busy, but it doesn’t come across too well here. I also wish that we were told what that “move” is, too.

Also… what is this supposed to accomplish? Is repeating a move a single time and in a very different fashion than normal going to help Eragon learn it? I don’t think so, especially since they’re going back to fighting immediately afterward.

It’s just almost hilarious that Brom thinks this is how teaching works.

Eragon learned quickly, but no matter what he tried, he could not hold Brom off for more than a few blows.

Not exactly surprising, I’d say. And still not a good way to learn. Yes, I guess he learns a bit, but I highly doubt that he’d be able to remember much of this session, and again, it won’t help much without understanding.

~~~

When they finished, Eragon flopped on his blankets and groaned.

Well, at least Brom stopped at some point… That was not fun to cover.

He hurt everywhere—Brom had not been gentle with his stick.

So Brom beat him black and blue. I… I can’t exactly express the hatred I’m feeling from Brom now, and the frustration at knowing that Eragon will not be allowed to act upon this.

K: Saphira let out a long, low sound and curled her lip until a formidable row of teeth showed.

S: Saphira let out a long, coughing growl and curled her lip until a formidable row of teeth showed.

Oh, good to see Saphira again. How nice that she literally wasn’t present for the previous scene.

~~~

What’s wrong with you? he demanded irritably.

Nothing, she replied. It’s funny to see a hatchling like you beaten by the old one.

Yes, people, child abuse is funny! I know Paolini didn’t mean that, but that’s what Saphira is saying! I… well, I think this is the point where the book becomes morally bankrupt, which is saying quite a bit as it’s the best of the quartet.

Okay… if we pretend this was just a fair duel, I still don’t really see what Saphira’s aiming at? Yes, we have a young person being beaten by an old one. Why is that funny? I don’t get it.

With the context… well, it seems that Saphira refused to help Eragon because she found what was going on funny. She found Eragon being unconscious funny, too, apparently.

This is someone Eragon should get away from as fast as possible, and someone who I would not trust in any kind of situation whatsoever.

Just Break Up Already: 245 (+5)

Is this someone we’re supposed to trust in any way??

She made the sound again, and Eragon turned red as he realized that she was laughing.

You know, this would be much better if all this was deliberately done. Then we could play up how awful it is for Eragon to undergo all this (which I realise I’ve been neglecting a bit. Oops!) and the story might focus on him trying to escape, but also needing them to get at the Ra’zac. But instead, we get this.

Just look at how awful this is. He’s just been beaten black and blue by Brom and the only thing he gets from Saphira is mockery? That certainly won’t mess him up at all.

As for her laughing here… drop dead, Saphira. You would do everyone a favour by that.

Trying to preserve some dignity, he rolled onto his side and fell asleep.

And of course the only effect is that his “dignity” is hurt. Because Paolini doesn’t see this as abuse, and so Eragon can’t feel anything more. I… don’t mind that, in a way because I really don’t want an extended abuse plot thread, but it also makes the story feel unreal because of that.

Anyway, we’re almost done with this.

~~~

He felt even worse the next day. Bruises covered his arms, and he was almost too sore to move.

That would be the 25^th of December, then. (Merry Christmas!) Well, Brom certainly did give Eragon all kinds of bruises. This is abuse, plain and simple. And yet, it will never be acknowledged.

For the Good of the Cause: 10

Also good to see that him being knocked out has had absolutely no lasting effects. That’s not how this works, Paolini.

Grimacing, he forced himself to stand. Brom looked up from the mush he was serving and grinned. “How do you feel?” Eragon grunted and bolted down the breakfast.

Brom is “grinning”?! He beat Eragon up and he has the gall to find that funny? I really would like to sharpen my nails on him.

Well, at least it is good to see that Eragon is allowed not to be happy with this.

Phew, that was that. I’m mostly bothered by how gratuitous this is. It just won’t have any bearing on what comes later, and it could have been cut entirely without harming the story. Just have them start sparring the next day. You know, that also makes it kind of hard to care about how this affects Eragon. If everyone acts like it hasn’t happened, why should I care?

Still… we’ll be getting several more scenes like this later, so what separates this one from the others? It’s hard to say, but I think it’s the way it begins (literally in the middle of a paragraph) and the way it ends…

Oh, of course! It’s that he will have literally no trouble from his injuries from this one, while the next one will have much more focus on it. This scene is gratuitous, and that’s almost worse.

I also think I’ll give it this:

And All the World A Dream: 3

It might as well not have happened! And that makes for a very weird reading experience. With Eragon yelling at Saphira to go back to the farm, I at least know that it has actually happened. With this, it might as well have been Eragon’s dream, and I don’t like it at all. Thankfully I can’t remember any other stuff like this…

Well, we open (yes, I’m using that phrasing because that’s what it feels like) being on the road again. No mention of Saphira so far.

What Dragons?: 303

They are traveling swiftly so they can reach Therinsford “before noon”. My, are they hurrying? That’s a rare sight in this book! Also, I guess they’re hurrying to catch the Ra’zac? Good luck with that.

Once they’ve gone “a league”, the road widens and they can see smoke in the distance. The self-published edition notes that Brom sees it before Eragon. Is this supposed to be an indication that Brom is a Rider, since Riders have keener eyesight? If so, this would be nice to have had in the Knopf edition, too.

I also note that there is no mention of Saphira here. Yes, she is presumably flying above them and so she would have noticed it much earlier, but something like her noting that they’re getting near Therinsford would be nice.

What Dragons?: 304

Brom tells Eragon to tell Saphira that she had better fly to the other side of Therinsford and wait there. She has to be careful, “otherwise people are bound to notice her”. And then Bad Things Happen.

Come to think of it, what are they afraid that will happen? Yes, if she’s noticed, that would mess up their visit to Therinsford, and since they want to get horses, that wouldn’t be great. But this was also noted earlier in the chapter, where it was said that Saphira should not be visible “in case they meet a fellow traveler”.

So I guess their concern is that someone might report them to the Empire and that Galbatorix might know of them, which would cause them trouble, of course. It’s certainly a reasonable concern at the face of it.

But it has some problems. First, why would anyone here report it to the Empire? Therinsford might not have as strong an anti-empire sentiment as Carvahall, but it’s still not part of the Empire, and I doubt much people here especially care. And even if they did, how would they do so quick enough to make a difference? By the time the rumour would reach the Empire, Saphira would be long gone, and the same goes for travellers on the road.

And it has reached the Empire already, in a way! After all, Merlock saw Saphira’s egg and I don’t doubt the traders would have spread some rumours. In fact, that was how the Ra’zac knew how to be in Palancar Valley in the first place!

Well, to be fair, Galbatorix does not know yet. The best way to prevent that at the moment is to somehow catch and/or kill the Ra’zac. Only that gives the problem that Galbatorix would go looking for them, which would eventually lead to Eragon and Saphira being discovered. And then they would be in trouble for killing the Ra’zac!

And if they don’t succeed, the Ra’zac will probably report this back to Galbatorix, so he will know of them, too!

So their choices here don’t really matter. The Ra’zac are the people who are in the best position to report them, and as long as the trio doesn’t make a big uproar, the Ra’zac will also be the ones who will tell Galbatorix about them. And that is because Brom insisted on going along, which means that, as long as the Ra’zac concentrate on going on, they will never catch up with them.

And that means that all of this secrecy is completely pointless. Saphira doesn’t have to be wary of meeting travellers on the road, and she doesn’t have to be very careful! So this plot point is nonsense in its current form!

Ill Logic: 264 (+5)

Stick the Dogma Over Facts: 4 (+2)

I feel quite confident in saying that I gave this more thought than Paolini ever did.

Well, back to the story at hand. Eragon “challenge[s]” Brom why he does not tell her himself. Hmm, I will certainly be an annoying habit, but this isn’t as clear as Paolini thought. I guess Eragon is fed up with Brom telling him what to do? I do agree, and I also thinks this makes Brom look bad for assuming that Eragon wouldn’t have thought of it himself.

Brom responds with this:

“It’s considered bad manners to interfere with another’s dragon.”

But you won’t be “interfering” with Saphira. Trying to talk to someone is not necessarily “interfering” with them. I also don’t like the wording here: it sounds more like he’s talking about someone’s equipment than about an actual dragon. Quite telling, I think.

Focussing on what he’s saying here… I presume this is a rule he picked up during his time as a Rider (which is certainly a nice hint). And its effect would be to have the dragon always be the one to initiate the contact, which might not be a problem for more outgoing dragons, but for more shy dragons would essentially mean that they’d have to use their Rider to speak for them. And that would absolutely have been abused to deny some dragons their voice at all.

So there we have another quite nasty piece of worldbuilding which is again presented as a neutral, or even positive, thing. Lovely. (And I’m also convinced that the Riders would have encouraged this.)

What Dragons?: 309 (+5)

Then… we get a patch! In the self-published edition, Eragon just glares at Brom and relays the message. In the Knopf edition, we get this:

“You didn’t have a problem with it in Carvahall.”

Brom’s lips twitched with a smile. “I did what I had to.”

Yep, here Eragon is allowed to point out Brom’s hypocrisy. And we get more of Brom being Brom.

Like, what is remotely funny about him threatening Saphira?! And no, Brom, you did not “have to” do this at all! Well, at least here’s confirmation that he did all this to force himself on Eragon and Saphira… and that he’s not remotely trustworthy.

Well, in both editions Eragon “eye[s] him darkly”, which makes a fair bit more sense in the Knopf edition and relays the instructions.

Also… there’s been absolutely no mention of Eragon feeling sore from the beating he took. That’s what I meant earlier: there’s simply no sign of it, and so I can’t be all that upset, really.

Once Eragon has told Saphira to hide, which is still ridiculous, she “warn[s]” him to be careful, as “the Empire’s servants could be hiding anywhere”. Then she breaks off the contact.

Saphira, if you want him to be careful and you think he might be in danger, then why do you break the contact?! It’s not even like Therinsford is so large she can’t contact him from the other side! This… I think this might be the weirdest leap in logic I’ve encountered yet in this book.

Ill Logic: 265

Of course you’ll cut off all contact when the people you travel with are about to enter a dangerous area! That’s the logical thing to do!

Well, as for what Saphira is saying… I first note the phrase “the Empire’s servants”. I’d rather have said “Galbatorix’s servants” here, as I find “servant” sound a little strange when it’s not someone serving a person. I also note the implication that only the people who “serve” the Empire might be dangerous, because no one would willingly do something for the Empire unless they directly serve Galbatorix, right? But that’s a matter for later.

The matter for now is that Saphira actually warns Eragon to be careful because there might be “servants of the Empire” anywhere.

1: You’re near Therinsford, which is not technically part of the Empire and which is a not-especially-large village. Why would there be officials of the Empire here?? What importance does Therinsford hold to Galbatorix? We’ve been given no reason, and will not be given any, why Galbatorix would bother to keep agents in here.

And even if he did, one or two would be enough for this village! There wouldn’t be agents “anywhere”!

Furthermore, Galbatorix does not yet know about Eragon and Saphira, so he also wouldn’t know to send more agents to this place.

2: What does Saphira think these agents will do? Like, she does warn him to be careful, but how is he supposed to guard against the agents when he doesn’t know what they might attempt? And even if there are agents, there’s a good chance they won’t recognise Eragon and Brom, since they wouldn’t have been told to look out for them! Even if they would be recognised, I quite doubt that the agents would be willing to go up against two Riders, and their information would go slower than the Ra’zac either way!

3: I also note there’s no indication that she’d be willing to help out in any way if things go wrong. Yes, she couldn’t just fly into Therinsford, but she could share her mind with Eragon’s to come up with ideas, for example!

4: Eragon will completely ignore this going forward, so this is quite pointless.

I guess Paolini introduced this to generate tension, but all the tension around “the Empire can find us” is undercut because 1) the Empire does not know of them yet, and 2) the Ra’zac will be the first to alert the Empire. In this case, it becomes actively ridiculous, as there is no reason Galbatorix would have lost of agents stationed in Therinsford. It frankly makes Saphira come across as paranoid and completely irresponsible for not maintaining contact.

Ill Logic: 269 (+4)

Just Break Up Already: 247 (+2)

Back to the story. Eragon naturally has no reaction to this, and he and Brom walk closer to the village. The ruts in the road deepen and Eragon sees “more footprints”. There are also farms, which “signal[] their approach to Therinsford”. (Because the deepening ruts and footprints didn’t…?) And then they can see Therinsford. It’s larger than Carvahall, “but it [has] been constructed haphazardly, the houses aligned in no particular order.”

And what are you basing this on? As far as I know, they’re not standing on a rise of some kind, so they can’t actually see the entire lay-out, only the eastern side. Come to think of it… if Therinsford has a grid of streets that are aligned with the Anora River and streets that are perpendicular to those, Brom and Eragon would probably be looking at a corner of it. And if the margins are a little ragged, you could see two main directions of houses, along with a lot of houses standing apart. So even an orderly grid could look “haphazard”.

Hypotheticals aside, they’re simply not standing at a good place to look along a likely street direction and they’re on ground level, so they can only see a small portion of Therinsford. The only one who could make an accurate call is Saphira and she’s gone for now.

Forgot the Narrator: 31 (I highly suspect this is Paolini accidentally slipping into omniscient)

Ill Logic: 270

Well, Eragon comments on the construction, and we are told that he cannot see Dempton’s mill. The self-published edition jumps to Brom joining in without the barest mention of Roran.

So the Knopf edition comes with another patch! As he thinks of Dempton’s mill, that leads to him thinking that Albriech and Baldor must have fetched Roran by now. (I presume they did so while Eragon and Brom were making the saddle.) Either way, he has “no wish to face [Roran]”. And that’s it.

Well, that patch was mostly perfunctory, it seems. Yes, Eragon does think of Roran, and that’s good, but there’s no further exploration of what he’s feeling here. He doesn’t want to face him, but we won’t get to know why that is. I guess it’s because he wouldn’t know how to deal with Roran, especially since Eragon might think himself responsible for Garrow’s death, but it would be nice to have some expansion on this. As it is, I get the strong impression that Paolini didn’t want to be writing about Roran anymore.

PPP: 733

Yes, I realise that you might not want to write about him anymore, but you kind of have to, because you wrote him in earlier.

Anyway, let’s see what Eragon and Brom have to say about Therinsford:

“What a mess,” said Eragon. […]

“It’s ugly, if nothing else,” agreed Brom.

So you don’t even know how Therinsford actually looks like and you’re already complaining about how messy and ugly it is? Just shut up, both of you!

Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 63

Well, we’re then informed that Therinsford lies on the other side of the Anora and it is connected by means of a “stout bridge”. I see that fits with the map, too. That is nice.

Then we come to what I think is one of the more infamous scenes of this book, which, as it so occurs, is plagiarised from Ruby Knight by David Eddings. (And Epistler informs me that Saphira’s naming scene is plagiarised from Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher and Eragon dragging Garrow on a plank from the first Wheel of Time book. Oh, and Galbatorix’s eventual death scene is apparently also plagiarised from Magician’s Gambit.) I’ll still only judge what in this book, though, as Ruby Knight falls outside of my expertise.

Well, as they near the bridge, “a greasy man” comes out from behind a bush and blocks their way. We get a description of him:

His shirt was too short, and his dirty stomach spilled over a rope belt. Behind his cracked lips, his teeth looked like crumbling tombstones.

And? Yes, he may not look nice, but that has absolutely nothing to do with anything.

Perfection Is Pure: 4

Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 64

I already hate this. The man then says this:

“You c’n stop right there. This’s my bridge. Gotta pay t’ get over.”

I note that he is the first character so far who speaks with a written-out accent, and I highly doubt that that’s a coincidence. After all, speaking with a noticeable accent means you suck, right?

Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 65

And I see we also have some lovely fat-shaming in his description earlier.

All The Isms: 9

That aside… this man is obviously not an actual bridgekeeper. So what will Eragon and Brom do? (A quite awful course of action, of course!)

Brom asks “in a resigned voice” how much they have to pay. He pulls out a pouch and the man brightens. The bridgekeeper (you know, I think I’ll adopt Epistler’s name for him, “Greasy Todd”) says he wants five crowns and smiles broadly. Hmmm, I don’t have an intuitive understanding of how much five crowns would be, so I doubt this has the effect Paolini meant it to have.

Eragon suffers a temper flare at “the exorbitant price” (I guess?) and he begins to “complain hotly”, but Brom silences him with a “quick look”. Um, why is this in summary suddenly? We’re told the coins “[are] wordlessly handed over”. And there’s unnecessary passive voice, too.

PPP: 733

Todd puts them in a sack that hangs from his belt. He says “Thank’ee much” in “a mocking tone” and “[stands] out of the way”. That last phrase seems off to me. Also, look at how awful this man is! He thanks them in a mocking tone!

Brom steps forward, then stumbles and grabs Todd’s arm “to support himself”. Todd snarls at him to watch his step and sidles away. And I’m completely with him. As we’ll soon see, there was absolutely no need for Brom to grab Todd. You know what? Here goes this again:

No Touchy: 7

Then we get this:

“Sorry,” apologized Brom and continued over the bridge with Eragon.

Ah yes, possibly the most widely mocked line from this book, and for good reason, too. We really don’t need to be informed that Brom apologises when he says “sorry”, Paolini.

PPP: 734

They walk on, and once they’re out of earshot, Eragon asks why Brom didn’t haggle, as Todd “skinned him alive”. He says that Todd probably doesn’t even own the bridge, so they could have “pushed right past him”. Brom “agree[s]” that they probably could have. Eragon asks why Brom paid him, then.

And then… You know what, I think I need to discuss the scene until now first. There’s a quite big problem with it aside from what we’re about to see, and that’s because it doesn’t make sense.

If Todd is supposed to be constantly ripping people off, then why haven’t the people of Therinsford not put a stop to that in the meantime? Would he also try to collect money from the traders? Come to think of it, there are also farms further north; would he collect money from their inhabitants? And why is he collecting money in Therinsford? It’s still a relatively small village, so why would they rely on money so heavily?

This simply makes no sense in the way it’s presented to us.

And All the World a Dream: 4

Missing Puzzle Pieces: 60

Therinsford existed before Eragon and Brom came along, Paolini.

Now, let’s just have a look through the next few paragraphs until the end of this part. I’ll also be comparing three editions here, so there’s that.

S: Brom smiled roguishly. “Because you can’t argue with all of the asses in the world.

K & Newer Edition: “Because you can’t argue with all of the fools in the world.

But Eragon just said that you could have pushed past him, so why are you implying you would have had to argue with him? And yes, you can’t argue with everyone, but that’s not an argument for not doing it in this specific case. Just say what you mean, Brom.

Also, I think the self-published edition has better word choice here. I would possibly class Todd as an “ass”, but certainly not as a “fool”, since he seems to know very well what he’s doing. This just makes Brom seem like he hasn’t been paying attention.

PPP: 735

All editions: It’s easier to let them have their way, then trick them when they’re not paying attention.”

Or maybe to outright ignore them. It’s truly not worth it trying to trick every “ass” in the world, either. I also note that this more of a sentiment for an anti-hero rather than Brom, who is supposed to be an actual hero.

Also, on the change of editions, this has become worse. It makes sense in the self-published edition, but when the other editions mention “fools” earlier, he is saying that you should trick them even when they aren’t hurting anyone, which is… decidedly less good a sentiment.

S: He opened his hand, and a pile of coins glinted in the light.

K & Newer Edition: Brom opened his hand, and a pile of coins glinted in the light.

Well…

First, how did he manage this? He probably cut open Todd’s purse, as I don’t think he could have grabbed the coins out of it. But how did he do that? He grabbed Todd’s arm with one hand, which means that he had one hand free to cut the purse open with (where does the knife come from? Is that the same that he used to make Saphira’s saddle?) and grab the coins with. I guess that he might have dropped the knife in his sleeve as soon as he was done and then let the coins drop in his hand? And he managed to do that fast enough for neither Todd or Eragon to notice and not to make any noise while doing it?

I guess it could work, but we haven’t seen Brom be quite so handy at this before now, so it feels off.

PPP: 736

That aside… where do all of these coins come from? Do the traders give him coins, or what? That’s the best thing I can think of, frankly.

Missing Puzzle Pieces: 61

And now for the main thing here: Brom saw fit to steal all of Todd’s money. I think I would be okay with that if it was framed as something dishonourable but necessary to do, like this: They need horses and they need money for that, apparently. And they need those horses to capture the Ra’zac and prevent them from doing more harm.

Of course, that’s already undercut because they’re only out to commit genocide take revenge on the Ra’zac. But even then, I wouldn’t mind per se.

Instead, Brom has done this to take revenge on Todd. He just admitted as much himself: Todd asked him for five crowns and, because that made him an ass in Brom’s eyes, he decided to cut Todd’s purse and steal his money in revenge. And that’s presented as a good thing!

It gets even worse, of course, when we take the descriptions of Todd into account. Given how much focus was put on his appearance as a factor to dislike him, the subtext ends up as “if you look like Todd (i.e. are fat and “ugly”) you are untrustworthy and deserve to be stolen from”. And you may think I’m exaggerating, but in Brisingr, where we get a quite unflattering description of Gedric, we get this: “Although he was far from handsome, Eragon knew him to be a kind and honest man.”

So yes, we quite clearly are supposed to view him as untrustworthy because of his “ugliness”, and Brom as good for getting revenge on him. I don’t even know what to say to this, other than that it is a very bad message to send and completely unnecessary and wrong of Brom.

All The Isms: 14 (+5) (for all of this)

For the Good of the Cause: 11 (because clearly this is noble!)

Oh, I think I have some more: I hate this chapter now.

~~~

S & K: “You cut his purse!” said Eragon incredulously.

Newer Edition: “You stole those!” exclaimed Eragon, incredulous.

What’s the point of the patch here? To make Eragon call what happened by its name? I might like that, if we didn’t have everything around it. Also, what’s the point in removing the mention of Brom cutting Todd’s purse?

Come to think of it… there’s another layer of awful here. If you remember last chapter, Eragon said he wouldn’t steal because it’s wrong, and Brom said it was “a matter of perspective”. Well, it seems this scene is there to prove him right. And so Eragon has “learned” that stealing is wrong, unless it is from the “right” (i.e. ugly) people. That’s something else that makes this scene so irritating to me: the smug moralising coming from Brom earlier, combined with the horrible message. I just don’t want to be lectured on why stealing from ugly people is okay! Gah!

~~~

S & K: Brom pocketed the money with a wink. “And it held a surprising amount.

Newer Edition: Brom pocketed the money with a wink.

I don’t really get what the point of cutting that out was, but alright. It certainly is a surprising amount, at any rate.

S & K: He should know better than to keep all these coins in one place.” There was a sudden howl of anguish from the other side of the river.

Newer Edition: “Anyone who gulls innocent travelers for a living ought to know better than to carry such a large sum on his person.

Well, first for the first bit… Talk about kicking someone when they’re down. You stole from him and you get smug about how he shouldn’t have kept it all in one place? Well, Brom, for all you know he has much more money spread out elsewhere! And maybe Todd didn’t think anyone would bother to steal from him in revenge! Maybe not everyone subscribes to your messed-up worldview, Brom!

Like, you were the one who did stole the money and you think it appropriate to blame Todd, the one you stole from, for being stolen from? You’re a criminal, Brom, plain and simple, and you should really shut up with your self-righteous lecturing, especially since it’s based on unproven assumptions!

As for the “howl of anguish”… that’s really over the top and I would expect Todd to come after them. But he never does, which makes this pointless.

The newer edition removes that, at least. As for what there is… that is even worse. Brom, you don’t know that he’s deceiving “innocent travelers” for a living! And if he did that, the people of Therinsford would have thrown him out long before now! Also, you just said you could have pushed past him, so why do you assume he gets all this money from deceiving travelers?

Oh right, I think he’s making this up from whole cloth to justify stealing from Todd. Of course, this is treated as the truth, never mind that it’s based on nothing at all.

Stick the Dogma Over Facts: 5

And, of course, there’s still the righteous victim-blaming. I also note “his person”.

No-Wave Feminism: 61

Finally, I can really see this was inserted later, as the writing style is a lot more formal.

Almost there… let me do the next bit in chronological order.

S: “I’d say our friend has just discovered his loss. We don’t have anything to worry about if he’s not supposed to be there, but he might decide to come after us, so we’d better keep moving. If you see any watchmen, tell me.”

That’s… quite wordy. I also love the contradiction here: “We have nothing to worry about, but we do have to worry about Todd coming after us.”

The tension does fall flat here, since Todd never shows up again. Yes, by rights he ought to come after them, but he doesn’t, so why is this here? Oh, that reminds me:

Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 69 (+5)

And why does Brom suddenly mention “watchmen”? Isn’t Therinsford a little small to have a watch of its own?

It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 24

We won’t be meeting any watchmen anyway, so this is another empty attempt at tension. It also highlights that Brom knows he’s doing something wrong, but he obviously doesn’t care.

K: “I’d say our friend has just discovered his loss. If you see any watchmen, tell me.”

This is better. With the middle sentence cut out, it’s much less bukly. And this also makes more sense by implying that Todd might tell the watchmen, who might come to get them. (And since that doesn’t happen, I don’t think Therinsford has a watch.)

Newer Edition: Come, let us be off before our greedy friend realizes what has happened. If you see any watchmen wandering around, tell me.”

I appreciate that this follows through from the earlier changes, though it’s very stiff compared to the surrounding text. Also, why is Brom calling Todd “our greedy friend”? That just sounds very condescending and I don’t like it.

Petty Ain’t the Word for You: 70

Now for something quite different!

He grabbed the shoulder of a young boy running between the houses, and asked, “Do you know where we can buy horses?”

But the boy could not answer, because he was lying on his face on the ground. Seriously, if Brom grabbed the boy’s shoulder while he was running, the boy would have fallen.

It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 25

And keep your hands off people, Brom!! You only had to call out to him and he probably would have listened, too. If not, then you should just have found someone else to ask! There was no reason for this. I think I’ve now reached the point where I outright hate Brom, too.

(shakes head) Right, they need horses.

The child stared at them with solemn eyes and then silently pointed to a large barn near the edge of Therinsford.

I think this boy knows very well that it’s best not to stay around Brom too long. Good on him!

As for where the horses are… why is that called “a large barn”? Oh, that’s more of an American thing, I see. No problem, then. Also, where is the barn, then? From descriptions later in the chapter, I guess the “edge” is supposed to be the southwestern edge of Therinsford, but it’s quite unclear, as they already are at the edge of the village at this moment.

Like Coins Bounced Off A Drum: 1 (I guess confusing description fits in this, too?)

S: “Thank you,” said Brom, tossing a small coin to the boy.

K: “Thank you,” said Brom, tossing him a small coin.

Newer Edition: “Thank you,” said Brom, tossing him half a coin.

My, Brom actually rewards him for giving information! Which will notably be the only time we see him give away some of this money.

Also, I don’t quite understand why “a small coin” had to be “improved” to “half a coin”. “Half” currency really won’t be a thing later, so I just comes across like Brom broke a coin in half.

PPP: 737

And that’s that for this part, at long last! That was… 1183 words in the self-published edition and I spent 8936 words discussing it, so… 7,5 times more than the actual length of the part. To quote Anya, this is truly the neutron star matter of failure. At least the rest of the book will be mostly more bearable…

Until next time!