I Read What?!

Chapter Twenty (Part II) | Table of Contents | Chapter Twenty-One (Part II)

Kerlois: A good day, everyone, and welcome back to Eragon! Last time, Eragon learned magic and the ancient language, and our company went very slow.

I do not actually have anything concrete for the reader post, so let me give this to Fumurti, then. (leaves)

Fumurti: Well, I’m feeling quite capable again, so let me begin with the next chapter!

 

Chapter Twenty-One: Daret

Yep, we are going through the next village this time. We open on the 11^th of January (if my calculations are correct). We are told that Daret lies along the Ninor, “as it [has] to [] to survive”. The village is “small and wild-looking”, and there is no sign of inhabitants. That doesn’t bode well. Eragon and Brom approach “with great caution”. Saphira now hides close to the town, so if there is any trouble, “she [will] be at their sides within seconds”.

It’s good to see that they learned some lessons from Yazuac! I also like that it makes sense for Saphira to hide in this instance. After all, there is clearly something suspicious going on, and coming in along with Saphira might well provoke an undesired reaction. They’re naturally also smart for allowing her to react in time, so I would say “well done”.

So they ride into Daret, “striving to be silent”. I do not think that will help much unless you silence the sound of the horses, but whatever. Brom holds his sword with “his good hand” (nice to see that this injury hasn’t healed up by now) and Eragon keeps his bow ready.

HISC: The self-published edition mentions here that he can “defend himself with magic if necessary”.

Fumurti: So they go between the “silent houses”, looking at each other apprehensively. Eragon says to Saphira that it “doesn’t look good”, and he can feel herself prepare to come after them. He then looks at the ground and sees “the fresh footprints of children”. He wonders where these children are.

They go into the centre of Daret, which is… empty, too. Wind blows through it and “dust devils” swirl sporadically. …Why is Eragon calling them “dust devils”?

Forgot the Narrator: 48

I do think this is quite a bit better than with Yazuac, though. With Yazuac, there was an empty, looted town, and the dead villagers only surprising in how “edgy” they were. Here, there is an empty town which just had life in it… and no clear cause. This just makes for a better reveal (and no edge, so that’s quite nice, too).

 

Also… I checked, and I see that dust devils exist because of hot air rising up in a whirlwind, which naturally means they are most common in summer. It’s clearly still winter at this point, though, and I think it unlikely that there’d be multiple dust devils in this town in such a short time. I get the distinct feeling that either Paolini didn’t know what dust devils are at all, or that he had something very different in mind.

 

It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 65

 

Brom quite sensibly decides he does not like it, while “wheel[ing] Snowfire about”. From what I read later, I guess they turn to the left, to go to the Ninor? I almost got the idea they went back the way they came, though.

 

PPP: 809

 

Brom spurs Snowfire into a gallop, and Eragon does the same with Cadoc. Then… we get this, and I’d like to leave it entirely intact:

 

They advanced only a few strides before wagons toppled out from behind the houses and blocked their way. Cadoc snorted and dug in his hooves, sliding to a stop next to Snowfire. A swarthy man hopped over the wagon and planted himself before them, a broadsword slung at his side and a drawn bow in his hands. Eragon swung his own bow up and pointed it at the stranger, who commanded, “Halt! Put your weapons down. You’re surrounded by sixty archers. They’ll shoot if you move.” As if on cue, a row of men stood up on the roofs of the surrounding houses.

 

Ah, so that is what is going on with Daret! They have hidden themselves to not be seen… and have also set up a trap for some reason? Yeah, this doesn’t make much sense, unfortunately.

 

I can see why they’d hide themselves, since that might make possible raiders think the town has already been raided and that there’s no point in giving Daret a closer look. That is smart, really! The only problem is that Eragon could just now see the footprints of children and see that Daret isn’t deserted. What would have been the bother to tell the children not to play in the main street? How hard is it to execute this without missing something this obvious?

 

While I can see why they’d be hiding, that means it doesn’t make much sense to place a trap in Daret. After all, going in hiding means that it will be less likely that anyone will come into the village, so why would they put all of this trouble into making one?

 

Further, what do they hope to achieve with this trap? I… guess that they want information from whoever they trap, or they want to keep them hostage? That does not seem like a very bad thing to do, since they would probably expect Urgals or bandits and such. Still, I think this trap might be better placed somewhere other than the very centre of Daret, where whoever is trapped can do the most damage.

 

Also, this trap is very obvious. Anyone who looked to the sides while entering Daret (which they probably would, since it is deserted and suspicious) would see these wagons standing there. In fact… Brom is explicitly noted to have his “eyes flashing everywhere”, so he rightly should have seen it.

 

PPP: 810

 

Finally, I just don’t get why they’d want to trap anyone. If they want to avoid trouble, which they clearly, since they hide when someone comes, why do they want to trap the trouble in the middle of Daret? I can understand either, but not trying to do both simultaneously!

 

Their actions here are even worse. First, they apparently went into full lockdown just because they saw Brom and Eragon appear. Yes, they are armed, but they are only two people, and they don’t seem to be out to do bad things! This just seems excessive.

 

Also, Brom and Eragon clearly mean to leave! If they were involved with the trouble in the area, I doubt they would bother to feign to know nothing about what is going on and then leave at high speed in what they’d think is a deserted village.

 

Finally, do they truly think that trapping people who are trying to flee is a good idea? It might well end with Brom blowing through the wagons and possibly killing people in order to get away.

 

I think I get why Paolini did it this way: he wanted something to be “going on” in Daret, so he made it appear empty, but he also wanted a conversation, so he had the villagers appear, and I guess he put in the trap to tie these together. And because there didn’t go more thought than that into it, we get this confused mess. If I were to improve it, I think I’d do something like this: Eragon and Brom go into Daret. There are villagers, but they ignore them completely. As they reach the center, the trap is sprung, and the rest plays out as it does here.

 

Well, on to the actual content of this paragraph, then. I first see that Snowfire and Cadoc apparently manage to easily come to a stop from a full gallop. I… don’t quite get why they don’t turn aside first? After all, I think that would be their first reaction when their way is suddenly blocked, and it means they’d have space to safely slow down. As it is, I think that Eragon and Brom should have been thrown because of how abruptly they stop.

 

It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 66

Come to think of it… why would they want to block the way of horses in full gallop? What if Eragon and/or Brom was thrown off and did not take kindly to that? There went no thought into this, I am sure.

 

Next, we have a “swarthy” man. I… guess he meant to be darker-skinned, but not black? A more specific description might have helped quite a bit here.

 

Like Coins Bounced Off a Drum: 4

 

Also, what is “the wagon” he jumps over? We do need to see this wagon before it can be referenced like this, and Paolini did not do that.

 

PPP: 811

 

Further… given the time since Brom turned Snowfire to this exit, I guess it might be possible that the man ran to that place fast enough to confront them now? Yes, given how smoothly all of this goes, it does make sense!

 

Going on, the man says there are “sixty archers”, which does make me wonder… The trouble in this area has only been going on for several months, so did they come up with this plan at the first sign of disturbance? That does explain why this trap operates so fluently… It is possible, I think, but there truly should be some more explanation for all of this.

 

So he says there are “sixty archers”, which I somewhat doubt. That’s just a much too large number for a village like this, and I don’t think he could have taught so many people to proficiency in half a year. From their description as “a row of men”, I also don’t get the sense there are as many as sixty people, and they aren’t noted to have bows either. Still, if he’s not telling the truth here, I have to commend him for bluffing.

 

Finally, what is this about the archers standing up “as if on cue”? The man said “there are sixty archers here”; that was clearly the cue to reveal themselves! You should pay attention to the context you use your phrases in, Paolini.

 

PPP: 812

 

Time to go on. Eragon immediately shouts at Saphira to stay away, because there are just too many archers and “they’ll shoot [her] out of the sky” if she comes. He knows Saphira hears, but he is “unsure if she [will] obey”. He prepares to use magic, and thinks he will have to stop the arrows before they hit him or Brom.

 

Hmm, it’s good of him to warn Saphira… but we have had no indication she wanted to come to him in the first place. Him using “obey” to describe Saphira staying behind doesn’t make it any better, either; Eragon didn’t give out a command, after all. I get that he wants to keep Saphira safe, but it feels to me like he doesn’t trust her to keep herself safe. (In fact, that’s what he outright says later in this chapter. Great partnership!)

 

For him using magic… I frankly think it comes off as somewhat paranoid. Eragon has already assumed the archers will shoot, even though the man just said that they will not do so if Eragon and Brom do not move, and though we are not told they are holding bows now. But no, trying to keep the arrows from hitting, something which I quite doubt he’d be capable of now, is the way to go.

 

Olympic Finals in Conclusion Leaping: 8

 

Well, Brom “calmly” asks what the man wants. The man wants to know why they have come to Daret. Maybe that is because the road along the Ninor goes through here? Brom says they have only come for supplies and to “hear the news”.

 

HISC: In the self-published edition, he further asks if this is how they greet their guests, and if they have taken up “armed robbery”. Classy, Brom. The man tells him not to joke (it sounded quite serious to me), and asks why they are traveling through this area, since most people “avoid the plains”. Well, maybe they are from the plains?

 

Brom shrugs and says they are going south to “his cousin’s house in Dras-Leona”, because he offered them jobs. If he knew he would have so much trouble, he would not have gone, but as it is, he is obliged, because of “[f]amily loyalty and all that”. The man relaxes and asks after “the boy”. Brom introduces Eragon as “Evan, [his] nephew”.

 

Fumurti: The Knopf edition streamlines this quite a bit, as Brom adds (after saying he wants to hear the news) that they are going to his cousin’s house in Dras-Leona. The only thing I could say agains that is that, looking at the map (link in here), it is quite far away from their current position. Then again, they might as well be fleeing the unrest in this region.

 

To give some more context, Dras-Leona is a large city on Leona Lake (the largest lake of Alagaësia), and, as far as I can tell, the second-largest city of Alagaësia. It also lies quite centrally and close to Urû’baen. As for the name… “Dras” means “city”, I see, so it means “Leona city”. I can only think that “Leona” means “lion”, because of how similar the names are, and that it is called “Lion-city”.

 

That is a slight problem, since there are no lions in Alagaësia, and if there are elsewhere, there is no way that the people of Alagaësia would see them, since they do not venture out. It might be that there were lions in Alalëa, and that the elves brought that knowledge with them, but then there should be something said about that!

 

A Better Commando Name: 16

 

The man says they are armed “pretty heavily”. Brom points out that the man is, too, and that it is a dangerous time. The man acknowledges that. He does not think that Eragon and Brom “mean [them] ill”, but they have just had too many “encounters with Urgals and bandits” to trust them on nothing but their word. Brom rightly asks what happens if their word does not matter. I don’t think keeping them in the centre of Daret for much longer would help.

 

Eragon now notes that the men on the houses have not moved, and he is sure that means they are “highly disciplined… or frightened for their lives”. He hopes it’s the latter. I think I know what he’s going for. He thinks that, if they are highly disciplined, they will kill without hesitation, so it is better if they are afraid.

 

The first problem with that is that discipline does not mean they will kill. If they are so disciplined, they will not shoot without their leader telling them to, and he is clearly still talking to Brom, so there is not reason to shoot. The second is that if they are so terrified, they will not be able to think very clearly, and they might well shoot even if there is no reason to. But I guess they simply will shoot if they are disciplined.

 

Olympic Finals in Conclusion Leaping: 9

 

The man then says that Brom said he only wanted supplies. (He also asked for the news, but alright.) He asks if Brom would agree to stay while they fetch the needed supplies, and would then pay and leave at once. That is a very sensible solution!

 

Brom agrees, the man lowers his bow (which he keeps ready), and waves one of the archers over. Brom is to tell this archer what he wants. Brom “recite[s] a short list”. He adds that he would like to buy “a spare pair of gloves” for Eragon. The archer runs off after that.

 

The man before them now says he is “Trevor” (thank you!). He says he would normally shake their hand, but in the current circumstances, he would rather keep his distance. He asks where they are from. I think this is all quite trusting for someone who said he couldn’t believe Eragon and Brom’s word.

 

PPP: 813 (inconsistency)

 

Brom answers they’re from “north”, but they haven’t lived in any place for long. He asks if Urgals have “forced [them] to take these measures”. Well, who else? Trevor says they have, and “worse fiends”, too. Who are these “worse fiends”, then? The best thing I can think of is the Ra’zac, who presumably did come through here. In that case, how can they have possibly perform this trap so smoothly? Either way, some specificity might be nice.

 

PPP: 814

 

Trevor asks for news from “other towns”. They rarely get word from them, but there are reports that they “are also sorely beleaguered”. Well, I’d certainly believe that, and I don’t think the people of Daret would dare venture out to the other towns very much under the present conditions. Still, where are those “other towns”? Further toward the Spine? Give us some information, Paolini!

 

Brom becomes grave, and says he wishes they did not have to say it. “Nearly a fortnight ago”, they went through Yazuac and found it looted. The villagers were killed and “piled together”. They would have tried to give them “a decent burial”, but then “two Urgals” attacked.

 

You never said anything about a burial before now, Brom, and the Urgals attacking didn’t prevent you from burying the villagers. In fact, you would probably have evaded them if you’d stayed to bury everyone. So you’re being somewhat dishonest here, Brom.

 

Trevor is shocked and “look[s] down with tears in his eyes”. He says that “sorrow has indeed struck”. It really has.

 

HISC: The self-published edition has more here. Trevor goes on that it is a “dark day” for “Daret and its sister towns” (which ones?). He asks if they could “revenge Yazuac on the Urgals” (as CN said, when faced with a massacre, one naturally is to kill even more!).

 

Brom says “Evan” did. Trevor does not believe it and asks how many there were, and Eragon answers two. Um, Eragon did not “revenge” Yazuac; he only killed them from self-defense. Then “[a]stonishment blank[s] Trevor’s face” (that sounds quite painful), and he says these are “strange times when boys perform the deeds of men”.

 

Fumurti: Yeah, that’s the strangest thing going on. In the Knopf edition, he skips all this and says he does not understand how only two Urgals could have defeated everyone in Yazuac. The people there were “good fighters” and some of them were his friends. I think that is possible, since Yazuac’s some 35 kilometres away. It is not very likely, but it could happen. (Also, poor Trevor!)

 

Brom explains that there were “signs” (as in, it can’t have been anything else) that a band of Urgals did it, and he thinks those they encountered were “deserters”.

 

Olympic Finals in Conclusion Leaping: 10

 

Trevor asks how large the company was, and Brom goes to “fiddle[] with his saddlebags”. Is that really necessary? He says it was evidently large enough to kill Yazuac, but small enough to be “unnoticed in the countryside”, so between 50–100 Urgals. He thinks that either number would be fatal for Daret. Trevor “wearily” agrees. Yeah, I get it. Yes, there’s another group of Urgals out there, and they have killed everyone in Yazuac. What can the people of Daret do about it? It’s just another worry for them.

 

Brom further says they should “consider leaving”, as the area has “become far too perilous” for anyone to live peacefully. Trevor says he knows, but the people refuse to think about it. Daret is their home, and his, though he’s only been here “a couple years”, and they “place its worth above their own lives”.

 

HISC: This edition cuts out a line of Trevor saying it is understandable, but “not in the face of such terrors”. They have only just heard about this, Trevor, so you cannot say that they do this! This also does not fit with how he has behaved at all.

 

Fumurti: The Knopf edition really is the better one, isn’t it? I’d also like to note how Trevor consistently speaks for the rest of the village, since it is just a nice touch to him.

 

Back to what they’re saying… yes, the area is perilous now, but it won’t stay that way. There’s only a limited number of Urgals in the Spine, and given how long they’ve been migrating, I expect it will dry up soon. I can see why Trevor would not have that perspective, but Brom, at least, should understand that this area will not stay dangerous for good when it has been dangerous for a while.

 

Trevor goes on. The villagers have repelled lone Urgals, and that has given them “a confidence far beyond their abilities”. That tracks; given how dangerous Urgals are made out to be (“few escape slaying their first Urgal unscathed”, right?), they probably think they can take on anyone. He ends by saying that he’s afraid they’ll “all wake up one morning with [their] throats slashed”.

 

Well, good luck waking up when you don’t have any blood in your body! Also, who would do this? I’m quite sure the Urgals don’t fight like this, and the bandits wouldn’t bother. I get that he probably isn’t speaking literally, but it’s still distracting because of how off it is. I think that “I fear that one day someone will find us much like Yazuac” would work quite a bit better here.

 

Neither Eragon or Brom say anything to this, as just then, the archer comes out of a house with “a pile of goods”, which he puts near the horses. Brom pays him, and then asks why the people of Daret chose Trevor for their defense. Trevor says he was “in the king’s army” for some years. So… why did he leave? Also, it’s a pity Paolini does not let that experience show.

 

Brom again doesn’t reply, but instead goes to dangle beneath Snowfire so he can give Eragon the gloves and put the rest of their stuff into the saddlebags.

 

It’s Like We’re Smart But We’re Not: 67

 

Eragon puts on the gloves, careful not to let the gedwëy ignasia show (because these villagers will totally betray you if they catch the slightest glimpse of it), and they fit well. Brom then says they will go like he promised.

 

HISC: In the self-published edition, Trevor invites them to stay for a time, since they could use people like them. Eragon has also “proved [his] worth”, no matter that he is a little young. Brom says they cannot stay, but they might if they come back. Eragon thinks that that is if they are still alive (thank you for that). Trevor is somewhat disappointed, but accepts.

 

Fumurti: Well, Trevor asks them to do him a favour if they reach Dras-Leona. He wants them to alert to Empire to the plight of Daret and “the other towns”. If Galbatorix has not been informed of it yet, it’s “cause for worry”. And if he has, but he chooses to do nothing, that’s also cause for worry. (I do wonder why he says it like this, because I imagine he’d be quite sick of worry by now.) Brom agrees to carry his message. I guess we will see how he does so when we reach Dras-Leona.

 

He then says “May your swords stay sharp”. That… is a strange blessing to people who have nearly exclusively shown to be archers (even Trevor used his bow before his sword). Also, this is something that is easy to influence by whetting the sword, so why is this a blessing again? Either way, Trevor returns the blessing.

 

HISC: Interestingly enough, in the self-published edition, Trevor says “May your bow never miss” (along with another “joke” about Eragon’s youth), which I think would have been much more appropriate.

 

Fumurti: Yeah, it would have been. Well, the wagons are pulled out of the way, and they ride from Daret into “the trees along the Ninor River”. Eragon tells Saphira that they are on their way to her, and everything went right. Her only response is “simmering anger”. Yep, not even relief that things went well, just anger at Eragon for not letting her intervene. That will go well.

 

Brom speaks up, saying that the Empire is in “worse condition than he imagined”. When the traders came to Carvahall, there were reports of unrest, but he never thought it was “this widespread”. (Really? Merlock said that “chaos seems to rule Alagaësia”, so did the rest of the traders say something else?) With so many Urgals, he thinks it looks like “the Empire itself is under attack”, but there are no “troops or soldiers” sent out. It is almost like Galbatorix “doesn’t care to defend his domain”. Eragon thinks it’s strange.

 

Why is this strange, actually? We haven’t heard about Galbatorix defending the Empire before, and given that he doesn’t seem to bother doing much about the Varden (else they wouldn’t be any trouble any longer), I would frankly expect this. The rest of the series will only strengthen that impression, too.

 

PPP: 814

 

Well, now it’s time for a new topic! Brom asks if Eragon used “any of his abilities” in Daret. Eragon says there was no reason to. Brom then does this: “Wrong,” corrected Brom. I almost imagine him pressing a buzzer at the same time.

 

He explains that Eragon “could have sensed Trevor’s intentions”. Even with his own “limited abilities”, he could do so. If the villagers had wanted to kill them, he would have done something, but he felt there was “a reasonable chance” of talking their way out, so he did that. …That was already quite evident from the villagers not trying to kill you and from Trevor starting a conversation with you, but sure, you just needed magic to figure that out. This also means that Eragon is actually right; there was no reason to use any of his powers when he could have easily seen this from observing.

 

Eragon asks how he should have known “what Trevor was thinking” (which is not what Brom just said), and if he is supposed to be able to look into others’ minds. Brom “chide[s]” him and says Eragon should know the answer. He could have discovered Trevor’s purpose the same way he talks to Cadoc and Saphira. After all, human minds aren’t that different from draconic or equine ones.

 

Brom is right here, since Eragon could have taken that leap of logic, but, since it didn’t change anything, this is a rather silly thing to take him to task over. Well, Brom goes on to explain further. It is apparently a “simple thing” to do, but it must be done “sparingly and with great caution”. After all, someone’s mind is their “last sanctuary”, and you must never break into it “unless circumstances force you to”.

 

Um, Brom, you did not break into Trevor’s mind just now; we would have seen it if that were the case. Reading someone’s general mood, which I think you did, is not a “violation” at all, just as trying to guess someone’s mood from what you perceive is not. Also, talking telepathically, like Eragon can do with Saphira and Cadoc, is not a violation either. Why is it so hard to be clear, Brom?

 

I also quite like the “unless circumstances force you to” bit. After all, you can always claim that you were just “forced into” doing something. For example, I can easily see Brom break into Trevor’s mind and claim he just had to because there were so many archers around. I think he’d be better say that Eragon shouldn’t do it “unless it is absolutely necessary”.

 

He goes on to say that the Riders had “very strict rules” on it, and if they were broken “without due cause”, there was a severe punishment. What were “due causes”, then, and what was done against Riders twisting their actions to suit these “causes”? Also, was there anything for the people whose minds had been violated? Did they get therapy or something? It doesn’t matter how much punishment the Riders get if their victims don’t get anything.

 

Eragon asks if Brom can do this, even though he isn’t a Rider. Brom says that, “[a]s [he] said before” (give him a break, Brom!) anyone can talk telepathically with the right instruction, but “with differing amounts of success”. He says it is hard to tell if it is actually magic. Well, in my experience, it clearly is, and I do not see how it would work here without magic, so… I think it is. Having magical abilities or becoming a Rider will trigger it, but he also knows quite some people who learned it “on their own”. I think you mean “without having other abilities”, Brom; after all, Eragon also learned to do it “on his own” while being bonded to Saphira.

 

PPP: 815

 

He tells Eragon to think about it: he can talk to every “sentient creature”, though the contact might not be clear. He can spend an entire day “listening to a bird’s thoughts” or understanding “how an earthworm feels during a rainstorm”. I… doubt that that earthworms “feel” much, but he might still glean something interesting from it. As for the former… I very much doubt the bird would put up with having their mind violated for long, so that would be a bust (and quite evil). I also see that Brom once again conflates speaking telepathically and breaking into minds. Those are different things!

 

He’s never found birds “very interesting”, though. (I don’t quite know whether to say “naturally you can’t appreciate them” or “thankfully you never broke into their minds so often”.) He suggests that Eragon start with cats, since “they have unusual personalities”. How so, Brom? Also, why it isn’t a bad suggestion, at least if he means “talk telepathically to them”, where will you find any cats? You’re not exactly near a city now, so I guess your best chance is Teirm?

 

And here I’d like to cut for the time being. Until next time, as we get more explanations of this mind-reading and Saphira gets quite abusive!