I Read What?!

So now that I've actually finished reviewing one whole book, I get to choose another. I do intend to continue with Pern, especially since I seem to remember Dragonquest, Dragonflight's sequel, having some particularly choice rant-worthy bits. But I also don't want to get stuck in a rut. So I want to branch out to other series as well.

So this time, I've chosen The Crystal Shard by R. A. Salvatore, which is the first published of the many, MANY, Drizzt Do'urden novels for Forgotten Realms. I have both fond and not so fond memories of many of the Drizzt books. When I was thirteen, I adored the character. When I was nineteen, I found him annoying as fuck. Seeing as it's now sixteen years later, it'll be interesting to see what I think about him now.

If nothing else, I've read enough other Forgotten Realms novels at this point to appreciate that, if nothing else, Mr. Salvatore can actually tell a coherent, readable story. So that's a plus.

So here is a bias going in: I HATE the concept of the Drow as portrayed in Forgotten Realms. I realize that dark elves have their basis in many European legends from the Firbolg to the Svartalfar to the Unseelie Court, but I think the Forgotten Realms variation is a whole mess of (probably accidental) racist and sexist stupid.

I hate their origin story, which seems to draw heavily from racist folklore about God, or in this case Corellon Larethian, cursing a group of people by darkening their skin. Because of course the evil elves should be dark skinned, even though they fucking live underground so logically speaking they should be whiter than their surface cousins.

I hate their culture, which is so aggressively and cartoonishly female dominated, but of course in a sexy whip wielding way. I hate how they've been an excuse for particularly tone deaf white fans to put on black face. I just hate the drow a fucking lot.

Mr. Salvatore didn't invent the drow, and while he probably had a role in fleshing out the society of Menzoberranzan (Drizzt's homeland), I think the racist and sexist elements existed before him. So I'll try not to hold them against him. But it's good to know going in that this dislike of the concept may influence my review.

So the book starts off with a sweet but long dedication and a few maps. Honestly, these maps are not very detailed or useful. We start off somewhere called "the Ten Towns" and there are maybe three notable landmarks and no real sense of scale. Admittedly though, this book takes place in a much larger series and setting that includes a lot of published material, including maps.

In a way, I suppose, it's like fanfiction: the audience is expected to have at least some knowledge of the basic setting. So I suppose I can't really complain.

So we start with a "Prelude".



The prelude starts with a demon named Errtu, who is sitting on a "seat it had carved in the stem of a giant mushroom". I like the descriptions of oozing sludge and shifting rocks that apparently characterize this layer of the Abyss (one of the evil planes in the Dungeons and Dragons universe.)

Errtu is looking for news of an artifact called "Crenshinbon" or the crystal shard, which is apparently "the most vile artifact ever made". It feeds off the sun and consumed the seven lichs (undead evil wizards) that created it.

Anyway, Errtu is looking for it. He almost found it once, but an angelic being called Al Dimeneira banished him. Angelic Al apparently could not destroy the damn thing but he threw it away across the planes. Errtu is displeased by this news and bites the messenger's throat out.

It's a pet peeve of mine when villains do that. I know, they're evil and "kill the messenger" is a thing. But really, it's not like the little demon caused the scenario. It's just a waste of good minions.

On the plus side, this book both has numbered chapters and chapter titles, so that should make structuring this review that much easier than Dragonflight was. On the minus side, nothing's really happened yet. But we'll see about that next time.